snake

snake in the grass
see how he slithers

there's a snake in the grass
see how he betrays

your mind changes like the wind
your mood like the faucet

there's a snake in my garden
you're killing the fruit

snake get out of my garden
keep with you the unsent letters

hide it away with your truths
hide it away with your nude beaches

flown by

My, how it's flown. Thanks to Katie for reminding me it has been one year since our trip took place. One year since I have graduated from school. One year full of ups and downs.

You may or may not keep in touch with every special person that has made you laugh, made you cry, seen you make a fool of yourself, enjoyed your first white beer with, try to figure out crappy phone cards to call home, pay for internet in a shady cafe, almost get abducted by men in a van, who grind their teeth in their sleep, takes the longest in the bathroom, who takes pictures of every single thing (but are so thankful they capture those moments), who you can vent to, cry to, smile to, gossip to, eat steak and ale pie with, get lost on the tubes with, ride the eye with, see a crazy girl purchase a set of knives at a square along with a kimono, play street tennis with, and last and very importantly, get lost in strange cities together - because without them, you would be lost by yourself, and not with the people you were meant to be lost with.

I couldn't think of better people to get lost with.

on the move

This past weekend I went down to St. Louis to help my friend Brian move. He had a lot of miles to spend since his job is flying everywhere, so he brought me down. While in St Louis, we ate at a very nice deli and went to the zoo. I always love visiting zoos, and this one is free, which fit my budget so well. Lord knows why we went when it was raining. But my favorite was the penguins. They had a four foot wall of glass that separated us from the birds. So close you could touch them. It was amazing.



Then came the actual move. What seemed like thousands of boxes to carry three stories, were actually under 10. But we did haul out two couches and other large objects. The moving truck had a funny picture on it with a stick figure yelling at their couch, saying: Moving Tip #72 - it's ok to curse at heavy furniture.

This patriotic pine tree air freshener was on the inside. Go America!


We made it to Chicago. After a five and a half hour trek going at a top speed of 55 mph. Unloading was better than loading. That night we ate Burger King. A nasty hamburger never tasted so glorious.

The next morning made up for the night before dinner. We met Kristin and Tiffany at Bongo Room. Only eating their twice now, it has become my favorite breakfast spot in Chicago.

I had the sweet potato puree with black beans, scrambled eggs, sour cream, and salsa. It was amazing.


After brunch was shopping. Why shopping? I don't have any money!

After shopping we went to see Matt at his new place. Hello section 8 housing (a little over a block away from him). His new apartment was very nice and had a kick ass roof to party on.


Later that evening I had dinner with Megan and Kevin. We went to a wonderful tapas place called Ba-Ba-Reeba!

I can't wait until their wedding in October. It will be glorious I tell you. After that I had drinks with my friend Mark where he let me vent. Thank you.

Monday evening I headed to Midway only to find my flight delayed an hour. It never fails, I have always had flight delays leaving Chicago. The one time it was on time was when I woke up 30 minutes before my flight left.

While in the airport I paid $7 for internet because I was too tired to read a book. I saw a lady drop her baby on the cement floor. It was very sad, but the baby seemed to be fine.

I have everyone asking when I am moving to Chicago. Yes, I have talked about it since the first time I went to visit. Well folks, I am not moving for some time. But I will definitely visit every chance I get. And when I do move, Ashley better get ready to have a roommate for a second go.

good times

I am keeping my fingers crossed for...


If you'd like to join, let me know. We could make a road trip out of it. As well as a camping trip.

plastic success

I am piecing a potion
To combat your poison

How can people be as shady as they are? Sneaky, they practice ill movements. Throw blame at others, when really they are just trying to cover their own ass.

I'm not running any show other than my own. So, with that said, what I say comes from just this one source. But what I do know, from how I run the show and how the (wo)man runs the show is very different. I try to be honest, but end up looking gullible. I put sweat into it, but it can look as though I'm slacking.

To the (wo)man: You're a pussy. You hide behind your own fears and failures. You strut your shit all over town. You should be smarter than that. You're a success whore. But your success isn't quite what it should be. You stab people in their back and make them feel the blame - while the knife is still in. Your army is weak and your supply drained and in the hole. Maybe you can call on your rich friends, get them to fly you out of the mess you made with their private jet.

round up the posse

On Tuesday, I made sure my alarm woke me in time to be one of the first people in line to purchase the new Tori Amos album, American Doll Posse.

After walking out the door with it, I tear rip the plastic off and start thumbing through the 36-page booklet that accompanies it. All beautiful pictures of the five girls: Tori, Pip, Clyde, Isabel, and Santa. Click on their links to go to each of their blogs.


On ADP Tori graces us with 23 tracks. These aren't lame songs that are all light in mood and boring lyrics. These songs are reminiscent of her past works of Boys For Pele, From the Choirgirl Hotel and To Venus and Back. Homegirl brought back guitar on many of the tracks and she is rowdy again. Below are some bangin' lyrics...

Yo George
Is this just the madness of King George
Yo George
Well you have the whole nation
on all fours


Teenage Hustling
But you been skankin' around
with your talentless trash
You only shoot blanks
at your cocksure best
me and my Teenage Hustling


Father's Son
Stead boy watch them pray
To you I suspect
If you keep my flesh firm
I'll ready those sacraments


Programmable Soda
Think of me as programmable soda
'cause I've come
I've come to accept that
for lovelies you are a fanatic
But I can't
I can't let that throw me
into a genital panic


Almost Rosey
Now about when violet died
The cause still unidentified
She thought her love would be enough
But you can't seduce seduction

Her tentacles of endless want
Reach through my corridors
and tempt me to taste of her power
I sober with the witching hour

And when I hear of one more bomb
Yes we have all been robbed of song
and nightingales who throw their arms up
When is enough enough?


Dark Side of the Sun
So how many young men have to lay down
their life and their love of their woman
for some sick promise of a heaven

In closing I urge you to go out an buy ADP as soon as you can. Not because I'm a rabid Tori fan, but because this is an amazing album I know you'll enjoy.

history

history repeats itself.

i saw photos of him.
in the same restaurants.
same scenes.
many of the same situations.

history repeats itself.

the way we react.
the way we communicate.
the things we fight about.
things seem to reverse
and play
all over again.

oh, how history repeats itself.

------------------------

you're already in there
i'll be wearing your tattoo
i'm already in circles and circles and circles again
the girl's in circles and circles got to stop spinning
circles and circles and circles again
thought i was over the bridge now

reactions

reactions. we all have them. some tend to be a little harsh and on the cruel side. sometimes they never come at all. we just sit and wait for it to come. sometimes we look for other's reactions.

they come in all shapes and sizes. colors and density. temperature and meaning.

i have always reacted with my first thought. not really thinking about its affects on other people. i'm quick to act or speak out in the instance something happens. i am learning this isn't always the best approah for getting your idea across.

i write with the intentions to speak my mind. not for others to react. well, why put it out there if you don't want people to respond to it. because let's face it, people read it and have a reaction, whether it's good or bad. i read them. it can hurt - it can make me have a great feeling too.

certain times, we get ourselves into situations where we can't physically react. in my head, so many things need to be said. but i know i can't.

here is to reactions. making them public. keeping them private. keeping them thoughful. keeping them in the best interest of others.

(get well soon).

lost

I’m lost
I don’t know how I got this way
But I am
I had no idea this time was coming
That I would get these feelings

I mean when I say
I love you
I can’t erase that
Or the photographs
Or you
From my memory
Of all the moments
I can’t do that
Like you maybe can do

I know it’s easier for you
To act in that way
Which is fine
If it makes you hate me more
Because it’s true
I’m an asshole
Have I always been that way?

I lost something
If you find it
Let me know
Anyone

mollie

happy birthday princess. may there be many more hat dances.

baker baker

This is how I feel.
(I'm sorry)



i know you're late for your next parade
you came to make sure that i'm not running
well i ran from him in all kinds of ways
guess it was his turn this time

time
thought i'd make friends with time
thought we'd be flying
maybe not this time

baker baker baking a cake
make me a day
make me whole again
and i wonder if he's ok
if you see him say hi

velvet revolution

The Velvet Revolution (November 16 - December 29, 1989) is a bloodless, non-violent revolution in Czechoslovakia that saw the overthrow of the Marxist-Leninist government.


I wish all things could work out better with no war - no bloodshed. It takes tears to get us where we need to be, or where we ought to be. Change can come with soft touches, no weapons but the ones of our mouthes. And hands holding flowers as a sign of peace.



Feeling radical in cotton
Purified in my Satin
But the bomb of the season
Is a velvet revolution

Look at the sky
And feel the tears
Of the prophets crying
Look at the sky
And feel the rain
Their reign of tears
Feeling radical in cotton

Purified in my Satin
But the bomb of the season
Is a velvet revolution

All you killers of the children
There’s a new commandment
The true divine creator
Wants a velvet revolution
All you killers of the children
There’s a new commandment
The true divine creator
Wants a velvet revolution

wash it away

Tori's new video, Big Wheel!



From memory, I've never seen a video like this. It is just photos pieced together, but there is something about it.

used to think

Little Brazil showing the world how they roll on 'MTV Cribs.'

Awesome job Chris and Meredith!

keys

play those keys
if you can
we may have just missed each other
on one end of the plane
play those keys
through the night
a beautiful melody
was played from the start
play those keys
you stand in the corner
and sit on my bench
you're wearing that red shirt
play those keys
funny, because i can't
it's all imaginary images
clips of film in our heads
play those keys
you played them so well
played a love song
a love song so short
play those keys
i can't hear the rest of the tune
ivory mixing with black
can you feel the grey

your cloud

The past few days feels as if i've not been here. I'm talking about in my body here, on earth here. It's a lot like walking through a strange dream, one you won't remember many of the details because it seemed to bounce and skip, not recalling certain clips. The clips before all of it were not of those of nightmares, but of calmness. Somewhere the dark clouds rolled in my head, and the storm broke. I so much wanted to find cover from the harshness of the winds and rain, but it appeared to be missing. Is it still there? Can it be found? Can we find our cloud we once called ours, or do we pick out our own cloud?

your cloud

Who we were
isn't lost
Before we were
Us
Indigo in his
own
Blue always
knew this
if the rain
Has
to separate from
Itself does it say
pick out your
cloud

If there is a Horizontal Line
that runs from the MAP
off your body straight through
the Land shooting up
right through my heart
Will this Horizontal Line
when asked know how to find
Where you end
where I begin
"pick out your
cloud"



"Here she goes uhh trundling across the country making her way somewhere, not quite sure where it's leading her. But she goes to the Mississippi and not far out of Memphis is where umm there's a national monument. There's this acknowledgment of where alot of the Cherokees died, didn't make it to Indian territory on the Trail of Tears, where alot of them perished. And in Your Cloud, so much of it is about segregation - even of a raindrop. The separation that the tearing apart of a tear, extracting that. Cutting that apart - the division. It's about separating that which you cannot separate. Not really. There will be strands, there will be molecules. And taking those people from their land. The land of the ancestors. Taking a child away from it's mother. That doesn't mean that there aren't pieces of that child still in that mother just because it's been, you know, delivered from her womb. Because a couple separates doesn't mean that there aren't pieces of him still in her."
-Tori Amos, Scarlet Stories

eskimo friend

come again?

driving for 30 hours in two days wears on a person. somewhere, somehow, a different route was taken than the first. you can ask thousands of questions of which was would have been better - but the fact of the matter is, it doesn't matter. what matters is where you are now.

where am i?
i'm still not home.
i still feel like i've failed at something very special in my life.
i still am wondering what to do next.

i'm also wondering what is going on with the two posts below this. i am very sad to see how some have reacted to this. if it comes off that i was bashing what asleep and i had, it wasn't meant in that way. i understand his friends - or people who have something against me - writing in his favor. the thing is, it isn't about sides. it's about maturity. Many of you have this quality, and it shines. Others, on the other hand, lack it very deeply. I know of one of you, it makes me sad...

You call yourself a friend
you wait in caves
watching for the slightest bit of disaster
you add water to a small dispute
you thrive on its vines
you wrap yourself in them
until they choke others
soon
the vines replace your friends
and you will find yourself
with just that
vines
and no room for friends
in your cave
alone
(i hope you're pleased)

Again, please stop with the childish remarks. It's painful enough to go through what just happened, but to read people's opinions who have surfaced just for this occasion hurts a bit.

life support

i thank my friends and family for the kind words, calls and gestures - you're all irreplacable.

as for the bitter lesbian comments who remain annonymous because of whatever reason, fuck off.

and so it is

i don't know where to start or where to end this.
i'm running on low fuel with mixed emotions on every aspect of my decision.
Yesterday, after I was asked what my decision is - whether to stay in Long Beach or go back home - things fell, not so much into place.

How does someone who says they love you one moment and that they want you to stay -
flip into their shadow side, one i never knew they had, and say the things they say.

'you should make it as quick as possible.'
'when are you leaving? i can't have you here.'
'don't take anything that doesn't belong to you'
'do you have anything left? i don't want you coming back.'

what? do you not know me? i never realized i steal from people.
and i never realized you had those words or thoughts inside you.
leaving was difficult. making that decision was difficult.
it wasn't anything like do you want ranch or italian dressing on your salad-
or should i buy this shirt in green or black?
it was a decision that was going to be hard on me, and the people around me, either way.

i have no hard feelings towards him.
no feelings of bitterness.
i do apologize for breaking certain promises we made to each other.
i apologize for not communicating as well as i should have.
i apologize for not having an understanding to the stresses in your life.

i don't apologize for wanting to be with my family and friends.
true, you were my new family.
but family doesn't ignore your calls, among other things.
when asked if he would move from his family, a quick 'no'
jumped off his lips - followed by a recovery of 'well, if i did, i would visit often.'
that gave me the beginning to my final decision.

i thought of my mom, and wanting to spend more time with her.
i thought of my sister, brother-in-law and the kids.
i want to see their soccer games, their finger painted pictures, and the little moments in life.

and my friends
they make me who i am
they mean the world to me
hopefully if friends mean the same to you
you will talk with them more
and stop avoiding them for whatever reasons at times.

if myspace and blogs are such 'bullshit'
why do you look at it everyday?
why didn't you just delete it completely?
why do you still post things?
just be honest.

i've worn myself out of asking questions like those.
i wish you were one for goodbyes - or even a see you later.
but you acted in the way you thought was best for you.
everyone needs a certain amount of armor.
i don't know how much i have, if any.
i carry a tongue that is quick to speak at times-
but i have left all swords and shields far from here.
because i didn't need them with you - i'm sorry you felt you needed them with me.
it was hard to see you never cry in front of me.
maybe i'm too emotional
or maybe that's your armor.
i'm sorry you feel the need to take down videos of us-
when certain ones remained up.

i thank you for the dates we had - the dinners and movies.
thank you for king taco, it really is the best.
thank you for making me feel loved like you did,
because when the forces were in line, it was magical.
i hope your back will be ok, along with the rest of your health.
i am sorry for making a decision that has left you angry with me.
maybe someday you will look past it,
so we don't end up like bitter, alcoholic 80-year-old women.

jdrf

My nephew Garrett was diagnosed with Juvenile Type 1 diabetes a week before his first birthday. He is doing very well and has proven himself a tough guy. On August 11, 2007, my brother-in-law, Todd, will be running for the cure - they say there can be a cure within our lifetime!

Please help support Todd's run for the cure here. Thank you.

today

today
was a different day
more so than any others
today
i prayed
for the first time
in months
today
i sat in church
with strangers
today
i watched a movie
with strangers
today
i filled strangers
in my world
to feel less lonely
today
miscommunication
about communication
today
silence
today
tears fell
in front of strangers
my mind is fatigued
from all the thinking
and rationalizing
i'd like to sleep
tonight
but i find myself
lonely
in empty rooms
on an empty cloud

hijacked jesus

"The way to really combat the right wing is to not be subservient to them on any level, particularly when it comes to ideology," she continued. "Therefore, you better offer up another ideology that can combat theirs, and as a preacher's daughter, I understand their ideology inside and out. Frankly, they've all hijacked Jesus and his message. I'm sorry, but 'Love thy neighbor as yourself' is nowhere to be found, especially in our current regime, who, in the name of God, is sending our young men and women to die over there [in the Middle East]."

Tori Amos Forms Anti-Bush Posse By Mutating Into Greek Goddesses

humps

This is...um, bangin'!

siren

and you know
you're gonna lie to you
in your own way

friday, march 30, 2007

from the little wanderlust journal from mary.


i can hear the seals in the distance
i wonder how far away they are
just past a few boats-
or further,
their barks carried on the salty wind
the tide at this time of day has lowered
shells and rocks
left behind by the lapping waves-
a painting in the sand
the distance of the sail
is the distance i feel now
when there is only silence
we're right next to each other-
yet you are like the foggy island-
its outline barely visible
i look forward to the moments
of feeling young-
like the brother and sister
splashing around in the clumsy waves
i've often wondered
why
it
is
that we lose interest in splashing in waves
playing in the sand
i think
it's because...
i don't know why
i also wonder
how it is
you can leave
without the simple
'see you later'
even the waves whisper 'goodbye'
kissing the sand
one last time
before it
retreats back

who needs a roomate?

If someone is looking for a roommate in the Chelsea, New York area, and doesn't mind living with someone who has 'habits,' then they should consider this.

i have a wonderful apartment for a reasonable price. I found out by living with other people that i have some habbits that can be difficult to deal with. i've been though several roommates during the past few months and have now decided to list my habbits in hopes of finding a stable roommate.

1. i have a cat. you must love cats and not be allergic.

2. i brush him everyday from 7 until 8 p.m. in the living room.

3. sometimes i don't feel like talking. i will let you know and you are to go to your room.

4. my mother comes over once a week to pick up some things and she also yells at me for being a homosexual. i am not a homosexual.

5. i keep my kitchen floor so clean you can eat off of it, which is what i do. i eat off a tile in the middle of the kitchen with chopsitcks. i eat two hardboiled eggs every night.

6. i have a problem with metal kitchen utencils. i only permit disposable utencils in the apartment. you are not to bring anything else.

7. all the food in the fridge is labled with different names. you can be sure that they are all mine. you are to label your food "mortimer." i will not eat mortimer's food.

if you're seriously interested contact me and please list your habbits. Please send a photo. thanks

first day

Today was my first day working at Starbucks. I was excited. Not nervous. And sleepy.

It was a lot of reading and filling out paperwork. While reading, I noticed two homeless men sitting in the patio area outside. One was drinking vodka. I hesitated to ask my manager, Carolyn, what the policy was with homeless people consuming alcohol on the premises, so I kept it to myself.

From reading I went into learning how to clean the condiments table and followed Dianne around as she whiped off tables and counters. After cleaning, she showed me how to make Frappuchinos. They seemed simple enough. Lines told you how far to fill the coffee or creme mix. The tricky part was pouring the blended drink. Dianne told me to hit the side of it on the counter top. It took me five minutes my first try. I gave it another go with a different drink. She told me when she first started she would always pour the frozen drink all over the counter. As she spoke those words, I did just that.

While I continued making drinks with the blender. Carolyn told us not to be alarmed if the police came in because she called the cops on the homeless men. When the cops arrived, they made the intoxicated man put his arms on his head.

'Oh my goodness, his pants fell down,' Dianne said. Like a trainwreck, I had to look. Not only was he homeless and drunk (at 11 a.m.), but he was now naked from the waist down. The sight was very unpleasant. Carolyn assured me this wasn't normal. Later we found out one had urinated on one of the chairs and the other deficated on the other.

After that I trained on the computer, which was less exciting than watching cops make homeless men leave.

Then my shift ended. It was a wonderful first day. I got to test two different types of coffee, eat a blueberry muffin and a piece of dark chocolate. Let's hope I don't get chubby from working here.

another fish in the sea of jackasses

Indianapolis Colts Coach Tony Dungy thinks and speaks like he's from the back woods of America. Here are some of his thoughts about anti-gay marriage, from IndyStar.

"IFI is saying what the Lord says [that the definition of a marriage is a man and woman]," Dungy said. "You can take that and make your decision on which way you want to be. I'm on the Lord's side."

The coach said his comments shouldn't be taken as gay bashing, but rather his views on the matter as he sees them from a perspective of faith.

"We're not anti- anything else. We're not trying to downgrade anyone else. But we're trying to promote the family -- family values the Lord's way," Dungy said.

did i die?

Did I die? No, but for a couple moments I thought I did. Our last ride of the day at Magic Mountain was Goliath. It reaches 235 feet into the clouds - with a 255 foot drop - and flys at an alarming 85 miles per hour. Not only do you just glide down on your initial hill, you drop at 61 degrees, which pretty much seems like an elevator ride. The left side of the picture below is the drop.


Out of all the rides we rode, the spinney rides were my favorite. My least favorite being X - I opened my eyes once for a few seconds until I realized that might not be a great idea.

All in all, I had a wonderful day. Next time we will be going back, I will be dragging Heather on the rides!

thank heaven for little boys

Introducing Benjamin Macedo.

I can't wait until I get to see this little boy. He is blessed with wonderful parents and good skin.

Congratulations Ann and Franz.

a naked lie

My favorite author, David Sedaris, admitted to exaggerating on his book Naked.

"The events described in these stories are real," humorist David Sedaris wrote in the introductory note to Naked, his 1997 collection of nonfiction essays. The New York Times was convinced: When Naked hit the best-seller list, it categorized the book as nonfiction. The Library of Congress called it biography, and Sedaris assured several interviewers over the years that the book was essentially factual. "Everything in Naked was true," he told the webzine GettingIt in 1999. "I mean, I exaggerate. But all the situations were true."...
-The New Republic

I couldn't go on to read the rest because I would have to subscribe.

Does this turn a book nonfiction to fiction. does it make it less true if the events are true, but situations not so much or even stretched? I don't care what they say, he is still my favorite.

four leaves of kisses

To Mr. Pat on his day.

To all the Irish, and non-Irish who celebrate - may you have safe festivities.

Last, don't forget to kiss that Irishman, or Mexican (since I've heard they're closely related due to drinking a lot and being die hard Catholics), on this green day.

they are you and i

A few of Tori's new songs from American Doll Posse have been leaked! True, they are only lyrics, but it is still exciting.


Fat Slut

Fat slut you said
What luck I said
To be stuck in your, your happy family
Well don’t you dare I said
Judge me you go
And stick it in somewhere
I’m I’m sicka hearin’ it, you go
Stick it in somewhere I’m
I’m sicka hearin’ it

Devils and Gods

Devils and gods now that’s an idea
But if we believe that it’s they who decide
That’s the ultimate detractor of crimes
‘Cos devils and gods, they are you and I
Devils and gods, they are you and I
Devils and gods, safe and inside

Yo, George

I salute to you commander and I sneeze
‘Cos I have now an allergy to your policies it seems
Where have we gone wrong America?
Mister Lincoln we can’t seem to find you anywhere
Out of the millions from the deserts to the mountains
Over prairies to the shores
Is this just the madness of King George? Yo, George
Is this just the madness of King George? Yo, George
Well you have the whole nation on all fours

Velvet Revolution

Feeling radical in cotton purified in my satin
But the bomb of the season is the velvet revolution
Aye-ee look at the sky
And feel the tears of the prophets crying
Aye-ee look at the sky
And feel the rain their reign of tears

Feeling radical in cotton purified in my satin
But the bomb of the season is the velvet revolution
All you killers of the children
There’s a new commandment
The true divine creator wants a velvet revolution
All you killers of the children
There’s a new commandment
The true divine creator wants a velvet revolution

the tree show

The Creatrix

Yesterday afternoon a couple of us went to see Mark Ryden's new work in The Tree Show. After years of having a strange fascination with trees, I thought this would be interesting. We get there and I instantly fell in love.

My favorite, which I believe is titled The Tree of Life, hung on a wall of its own. It was maybe eight feet tall and 5 feet wide. It pictured a tree, with a young women sitting atop its branches. She was in a gown holding flowers with a bee near her head. The leaves were full and round. In the middle of its trunk was an eye looking. Its roots were outside the soil with a skull beside them. The painting's frame was an art piece in itself - carved wood of branches, leaves, squirrels, birds, deer, and the top's center had a doll head with antlers (also carved). There was something about this tree, something magical.

When i wondered to the second room, there was a smaller sketch of the tree. Drawn in only pencil, it explained the different areas of the tree (wisdom, love, mercy, and so on) and the meanings of the different characters - some of which included air, fire and other elements belonging to the earth.

I left amazed, happy and with a t-shirt.

As a sidenote, the painting I fell in love with was a breezy $800,000. Remember, my birthday is in December.

hello mixoparthenos

The unemployment diaries will soon be coming to a close.

After a month and a half of being a full time lazy person, I have a part time position at Starbucks. Don't worry, I will still be part time lazy.

oh, dolly!

Many remember their first music album, whether it was given to them or it was purchased. For me is was Dolly Parton's White Limozeen. This record was given to me by my mom and will always hold a special place in my heart. My favorite song being Why'd You Come In Here Lookin' Like That.



When I was younger, around the age of six or seven, my family took a vacation to Tennessee. While we were there we visited Dollywood, nestled in between the Smokey Moutains around Knoxville. I can't recall most of my trip there, but I do remember the rocks having speakers in them playing country music and a water roller coaster ride where I urinated on my uncle during the decline. Besides the number one part, I am sure it was a lovely trip.

Rosie Thomas | El Perro Del Mar

Tuesday evening we headed over to LA's Ex-Plx to see the El Perro Del Mar show. I only knew of a few of her songs, but enjoyed the soft echoing melodies - I was interested to hear more.


Rosie Thomas opened. She came out and said a squeaky hello. The speaking voice of an eight-year-old, but the singing voice of a mature, floating on clouds, younger but more rebellious sister to Sarah McLaughlin. I liked her a lot, her lyrics, playfulness and openness to her audience, telling stories of her father's PT Cruiser and drinking margaritas prior to the concert.


El Perro Del Mar was good. She sounded the exact same from the album. Her songs are easy to sing along to due to very few lines. The melodies are fun to listen to. I enjoyed how her three male band members were dressed - all in black suits with skinny ties. They may have hated her from the glares they kept giving her during her set. She was taller than I had imagined. Pretty with a classic look. If I could give advice to her it would be to get that stick out of your ass, smile, and be kind to your audience. Overall, I enjoyed her.

I hope to see Rosie Thomas again.

Bicycle tricycle take me far with
My hands on your handlebars. I can’t
Be homecoming queen for every boy
That falls in and out of love with me.
I won’t look back
I’ve been here before
I’ve been here before
I’ll turn my back
Whatever it takes to let him go
Flower dress strawberry red
I must confess you’re my safety pin
Hold me together hide me well
So he cannot tell the state that I am in
I won’t look back
I’ve been here before
Been here before
I’ll turn my back
Whatever it takes to let him go
Roller skates figure eights
Roll me away and I won’t complain
I’ll bring my raincoat boots and umbrella
So he can’t ever rain on my parade

Bicycle Tricycle, Rosie Thomas

question

how did he win me over?

with his sweet dance moves of course.

shoes

Thanks to Michael I have started a love of Nike shoes. I enjoy the colors, styles and meaning behind the brand. They have value behind them, a name for themselves.

I recently purchased two pairs of Nikes. This video is for Michael.

full circle

I have been in Long Beach for over a month now. Time has flown so fast. I have loved every moment of my time here and with Asleep. I am getting to do all the things I've wanted to do with him - go to movies, to dinner, to sit on the couch and do nothing, go to shows, laugh, love, and everything in between. Everything has been so amazing. I love it here and I love him, so much.

Learning each other is an entertaining thing to do. What we eat or don't eat. What our routines are. What songs we think are good and others we think are trash. How hot or cold the water is that we shower in. Even the simple task of watching him brush his teeth or shaving makes me happy, just knowing I'm here.

My heart is happy and I couldn't ask for anything better.

Thank you.

Love you.

dirty laundry

put your floaties on

get off the cross, we need the wood

Big Wheel

i been on my knees but you’re so hard,
won’t be pleased that you
take me, take me in
so you are a superstar
get off the cross, we need the wood

somehow you will rise, but with attitude
i know, honey, you’re a pro
but baby i don’t need your cash
mama got it all in hell now

big wheel turn my fantasy
don’t you throw that shade on me
i’ve been drinking down your pain
i’m gonna turn that whiskey into rain
wash it away, wash it away, boy
wash you away now

gimmie 8, a-gimmie 7, a-gimmie 6,
gimmie 5, gimmie 4, a-gimmie 3
i-i-i am a M-I-L-F, don’t you forget, M-I-L-F,
don’t you forget, M-I-L-F, don’t you forget
baby, i don’t need your cash
so baby maybe i’ll leave you

the 10's

Thank you Heather.

10 Random Things About Me:
1. I feel the need for more Jack Spade bags.
2. I’m terrified of open water.
3. I had tubes six times before the age of six.
4. I’ve never broken a bone (knock on wood).
5. I did, however, tear my ACL playing wiffleball in high school.
6. I would love to go to every single Tori concert on her next tour.
7. I think American Apparel shirts are among the best, and cheapest.
8. I am having FarmHouse cinnamon roll withdraws.
9. I have never learned to water ski, and probably never will.
10. I am currently learning Spanish in 40 lesson plans.

9 Ways to Win My Heart (it’s already been won, but…):
1. Honesty.
2. Like cinnamon rolls.
3. Call back.
4. Show emotion.
5. Sing in the car with me.
6. Love my family and friends.
7. Shake your booty on the dance floor.
8. Don’t be shady.
9. Make me laugh.

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die:
1. Learn piano and guitar, and cello again.
2. Speak Spanish fluently.
3. Do something that benefits people.
4. Learn to surf.
5. Start a company.
6. Backpack through Europe.
7. Swim with dolphins.
8. Go on a treasure hunt.

7 Ways to Annoy Me:
1. Forget things.
2. Not following through.
3. Ignorant.
4. Arrogant.
5. Lie.
6. Be fake.
7. Rudeness.

6 Turn Ons:
1. Eyes.
2. Sexy feet.
3. Good hygiene.
4. Accent.
5. This.
6. Dresses nicely.

5 Things I'm Afraid Of:
1. Failure.
2. Hurting someone’s feelings.
3. Snakes.
4. Clowns.
6. Basements.

4 Favorite Items in My Room:
1. My blanket of my Dad’s shirts.
2. Cloud 9.
3. Clothes.
4. My baby!

3 Things I Do Everyday:
1. Be lazy.
2. Listen to lots of music.
3. Love.

2 Things I Want to Do Right Now:
1. Be with my family and friends.
2. Go shopping with Asleep.

1 Person I Would Love to Talk to Right Now:
1. My dad.

unemployment diaries - my new bush

one bear a-dancing

This was taken last weekend at a local bar called Mick and Mack's. They were celebrating Bear Camp Birthday. I'm not really sure what it was, other than a bunch of bears in a group...I think.

Well, maybe there's more to it, and I should just stop judging. I guess I'll just leave it at that.

homo weekend

Last weekend Asleep and I went out to bars for the first time me moving here. It involved strange karaoke gay bars (which had free popcorn), me getting drunk, meeting Asleep's friends, and not remember going home.

From what I remember, I enjoyed his friends.

lucky guy

Congratulations Michael on being straddled by a sex pistol.

chick-fil-a

For Danelle

unemployment diaries - runyon canyon

I checked my myspace on Wednesday morning to see a comment from Meleah asking if I would like to look for celebrities. Having no job and being a little intrigued by spotting a few celebrities I took her up on the idea. I was nervous though - this would be the first time driving on the freeway by myself. Meleah lives in Santa Monica which is only about 30-40 minutes away (on a clear drive). I put my iPod on shuffle and got on the 405. I made it in one piece.

She said we could walk her boyfriend, John-Michael's dog Milo at Runyon Canyon - a celebrity hot spot.



We did see one pseudo celeb - Dave Holmes.

After the hike and a bite to eat we headed over to get Meleah's front bumper fixed. The guy who was helping us was interesting. And what was an hour seemed like six. In that hour we learned that he was married to an international lawyer, surfs the breaks at Venice Beach, dirt bikes, is exceptionally good at karate, has a house in the hills that is 6,000 square feet, and has two children - a boy and a girl, who is in 6th grade and will soon be a black belt. He loved to talk about how 'cool' he was - I think it was a complex his Marine father gave him when he was younger, very similar to little man syndrome.

Then came the drive home. What took 40 minutes to get there took two hours to get back. The bumper to bumper traffic, which Asleep warned me about, gave me what I think was an anxiety attack - a shortness of breath and shaking in my arms and legs. I came home and crashed on couch 9 with my baby. It felt so good to be home.

unemployment diaries

I have been lazy not posting blogs, so I apologize. I have also been without camera for two months, so I had to survive sans Betty. Thanks to Asleep, I have a new camera!!! Thank you so much baby. You're the best.



California life is quite lovely. The weather is perfect. The beach is near. I live with a very sexy man (that's the best part). The only thing I am lacking is employment. I have never not had a job, so I feel excited to do whatever I want. At the same time, I feel like I am a lazy pile. While being unemployed, there is one thing I have mastered, the art of being lazy.

it's almost time for church

Tori will release American Doll Posse on May 1st. She will kick off her major tour on May 28th in Rome. More dates to come.

This makes me one happy boy!!! Let's pray she tours most of California.

hot magma

Last night was a lazy night - we watched Science of Sleep - which was really good, and we we ordered in pizza. I like those kind of nights.

When we were heading to bed, my volcano hurt to the point where I could barely walk anymore. It had erupted - sick, I know. The doctor said the shot would 'localize the infection and BOOM.' This was my boom. After bleeding like a virgin's first time, I could walk normal again. I could move around without crawling and do my happy dance, much like the one below.



-----------------------

As a present, Asleep gave me a book this morning. The title fits my volcano situation well.

help me

I went to the doctor today, sans insurance. I recieved a shot in my ass - let's hope that fixes things.

I can't sit.
I can't walk.
I can barely lie still.
This pain is almost as worse as when I had knee surgery.

I need help and a lot of meds.

my funny valentine

I love Valentine's day. I love giving presents. I love love. I woke up to a rose and a card in the bathroom with candy hearts scattered around. I move into the living room and see a giant heart-shaped I Love You balloon and a lot more roses. By the vase is a bear that you can record voices in - when its hand is pressed you hear Asleep yelling, 'You're so lazy!' All over the house are candy hearts - by the computer, by the television, on the kitchen counter, in the refrigerator, and on the chest.

Asleep came home and graced me with gifts along with his precense - a hanging plant (for the balcony), a robe and boxers that has a man with a remote saying, 'I wish I knew how to quit you!' He made us an amazing dinner - tostadas and spanish rice (and you can't forget the King Taco hot sauce).

Thank you baby for everything. You make everyday feel like Valentine's Day.

Making the night complete was this (watch the video). It makes me laugh.

keep it up

Nancy messaged me today saying how she is blogging more since I've been away. I thanked her - and thank all of you. Yes, it's only been a week since I've been at my new home, but I love reading about you since I may not get to chat with you everyday - Your words make me feel closer to you and take place of lunches, dinners and drinks...until then.

meeting the momma

Yesterday afternoon I got to meet Asleep's mom, Francisca for the first time. I was nervous, but I have a strange urge to play card games with her. We walked in to four children playing and watching Spanish cartoons. Gordo and Estella were there - I had met them over New Years Eve. Estella and I watched Strangers With Candy together and Gordo was too scared to talk to me. The kids warmed up to me right away. We played hang man on the computer and I taught them the hand slapping game (where the person on the bottom flips their hands up to slap the other's hands). Hector, Asleep's brother came downstairs for a brief moment and told me I look like Ashton Kutcher and that I also dress like him from That 70s Show. I beg to differ.

Asleep's mom was wonderful. She was soft spoken and shorter than I had imagined. I told her I like her new car - she told me I can't drive it. She also wanted to see my ingrown hair - I told her she can't drive it, and refused to show her. This was all done by relay of message through Asleep.

*For those reading, I currently have a volcano-sized ingrown hair on my ass. The pain scale is about an 8.5 (10 being the worst). I can't sit and I can't walk right. It's putting a damper in my always sunny life. We went to CVS to have the pharmacist tell us that it may result in surgery to remove - if we feel comfortable we can cut it out, or have a doctor do it. Now, I love Asleep, I just don't know if I want him cutting open my ass cheek. This is why I need medical insurance.

While Asleep was sitting next to his mom, she told him his hair needed brushed. She got a comb and brushed only half of it - I think she figured there was way too much of it. She then suggested he need mousse for it but I didn't see any mousse action. She offered me a pair of shoes that Asleep's cousin dropped off - slightly worn but I would take them. They are white and blue Nike Air's (I'm sure Michael could inform me of the correct name of them).

We left after an hour or so of visiting. I hope to go back soon. His mom is nice - and she gave me a cool pair of shoes. Maybe next time I go back she will have a Swiss Army watch for me? I can wish, can't I?

a piece of omaha in hollywood

On Saturday night, Asleep and I went to the Knitting Factory to see Greg's band Little Brazil perform. This was my first time driving through LA - I did pretty good I must say. Before the show, we ate King Taco in East LA.

A funny thing I thought to myself about is the ratio of Mexicans to me. There may have been over 50 people there - all Mexicans and me. Back home, this would maybe make me uncomfortable. But here I didn't see it until the very end while I was waiting for Asleep. I still have no idea what people are saying when they speak Spanish - I can, however, pick up on smaller words which excites me and makes me feel smart.

We arrive at the venue, near Janice Dickenson's 'modeling agency.' Greg found me when I walked though the door and we started conversation. While at the bar, an extremely annoying drunk girl found her way to our circle. She was wondering if we were in bands - because Asleep had longer hair and a beard, I had shorter hair and a beard, Greg had longer hair and no beard. She was drunk and apparently from Austin, Texas. She informed us she lived down the block from Willie Nelson - she would stand on her porch and yell 'Willie!' Somewhere in between her not shutting up and poking Asleep in the chest, we broke for the bathrooms. The other side of the venue had a heavy metal band.

Little Brazil went on and played all new songs from their second cd. They rocked, of course. After their set Dan was selling merchandise - he recognized me and knew who I was which was nice. We left with their new cd and a sticker which is now stuck on top Asleep's laptop.

Before leaving, Texas invited us back to her place a couple blocks over. She also asked Greg fro drugs. The first person I talk to while I am here and she ends up to be a doozy. Such is life.

something 'bout the open road

Once again, Asleep made videos of our moving experience. Here they are in case you haven't visited his site yet.

Road Trippers


I'm A Ho. You're A Ho. Navajo.


Mama, He Can Rap! --- This one is embarrassing!


Poop Talk

unemployment day #4

I have been in my new home three days. In these three days, Asleep has worked everyday, and I have 'unpacked.' I am starting to get restless, mainly because I don't know where I am. I can stores to shop at, but I have to save my money since I don't have a job. I can find the beach, which is something I will do today. I found the grocery store. I never understood how Mollie could always go to the grocery store - but now I see why. It's very calming. Walking up and down the isles, thinking only of the food in front of you. It takes your mind off things. For me - it is taking my mind off being restless.

I went to Gap yesterday, they weren't hiring. I had an urge to throw in 'Well, I've worked with the company five years, so...' - but I decided against it.

I am going to see Little Brazil tonight at the Knitting Factory. I will be happy to see someone I know. I texted Greg and told him to play Bette Davis Eyes. I doubt they will because of the text I received back from Greg saying 'Ha.' It's always worth a try. Asleep is going to have me drive to the show - this should be interesting. If we survive me driving through Hollywood, then you will know by tomorrow's post.

come on, pleeaase...

Me: Hey baby, let's adopt a dog.

Asleep: I already adopted two turtles and a boy - what else do you want?!

This made me laugh this morning when pet adoption was brought up on a morning talk show.

There are so many sites with pet adoption - so please keep these in mind whenever making a new friend purchase.

moving: part dos

This is a day late or two, so I apologize.

The second part of moving was good. My favorite state to drive through was Arizona. We got to drive through two national forests - the trees were so big and green! We also drove through mountains. I don't understand how people can go 90 mph through twists and turns, ups and downs.

On our way out of Arizona Asleep spotted a Whataburger - we barely made the exit, but he got what he had been wanting for two days.

The drive was fine until the last few hours. I was dead tired and wanted to be out of the car. Thank Jebus Asleep wasn't as tired so he could drive. We made it home around 10 p.m.

The best surprise was the photos he put in frames of me and my friends...Katie, you have a frame all to yourself!

Apollo and Martha had a clean tank, we ate chili cheeseburgers and went to bed. It was so nice to be back on cloud 9 - especially with Asleep. I slept so good - until 6 a.m. when Asleep had to go to work (boooo!).

I unpacked, watched Trans America and he came home with King Taco. We went to Target and then to see Epic Movie. It was a great first day!

This morning we planted our pine tree. I think it's seen better days, but hopefully Max pulls through. I am going to apply for jobs today - I am going with low responsibility, I think I deserve a little break.

moving: part uno

I hate driving in a car for long periods of time. But with Asleep it's so fun. I did get a little irritable when I was tired and hungry - Mollie you know how I can get. We made it into Santa Fe, New Mexico. While driving across the border, we saw a shooting star - my first time ever!

I also had Chik-Fila for the first time which made me think of Danelle. I didn't have the sweet tea though. Asleep also ran into a crazy bitch driver and he flipped her off the entire time she was yelling at him. I just looked the other way.

Asleep says hello everyone. We have about 7-10 more hours of driving. He better get his singing voice ready!

countdown: one

It's hard to sleep when you have so much on your mind.

And i have a lot of different emotions - everything from happy to sad. Having those two at the same time is really tricky. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Last night we had a small gathering with my family. Some of them are crazy and like to drink which can be used for great entertainment. Anthony explained some of his wrestling moves. My mom made amazing lasagna and bbq pulled chicken. I will miss the compound grill outs a lot.

This morning my mom gave me a card. In it was my dad's St. Christopher chain. [Enter stream of tears.] She said he always thought it kept him safe and how it will do the same for me. Funny thing is, I was just thinking yesterday how I wanted to find a St. Christopher chain before my move. Strange how those things work out.

I pick Asleep up at the airport in 30 minutes. He makes me so happy. I am very ready for this. It's insane to think of and I am pretty sure it will hit me in about a week. I am taking him to Zio's to meet a couple people and waving a see you later to them. Tomorrow is moving day and the start of something amazing.

countdown: two

Packing is no fun.

I got to hang out with my mom a little today. We ran some errands and had lunch. It felt good to be with her.

Last night I had my 'See You Later' party. So many good people came...well all that came were good. Ashley gave me our Halloween photo from several years ago - she was Mary and I was Warren from Something About Mary. I looked like a wee lad. Then Mollie, Katie, Danelle, Meredith and Ashley all pitched in to get me one of Cory's pieces! It's one I have always wanted because it reminds me of Alice In Wonderland...I'm not sure why, but it's beautiful. Thank you so much everyone!!! And please forgive me if I left anyone out...I was tipsy when you all gave it to me. But thank you again for coming out. And the night wasn't complete until I saw pierced nipples, thank you T.

Tonight we are having a family get together before I leave. I would post pictures, but my camera is broken.

The days are colliding into one another. It's a landslide of chores, cleaning and trying to remember the important things. Cross your fingers that everything will fit into Alice.