come again?

driving for 30 hours in two days wears on a person. somewhere, somehow, a different route was taken than the first. you can ask thousands of questions of which was would have been better - but the fact of the matter is, it doesn't matter. what matters is where you are now.

where am i?
i'm still not home.
i still feel like i've failed at something very special in my life.
i still am wondering what to do next.

i'm also wondering what is going on with the two posts below this. i am very sad to see how some have reacted to this. if it comes off that i was bashing what asleep and i had, it wasn't meant in that way. i understand his friends - or people who have something against me - writing in his favor. the thing is, it isn't about sides. it's about maturity. Many of you have this quality, and it shines. Others, on the other hand, lack it very deeply. I know of one of you, it makes me sad...

You call yourself a friend
you wait in caves
watching for the slightest bit of disaster
you add water to a small dispute
you thrive on its vines
you wrap yourself in them
until they choke others
soon
the vines replace your friends
and you will find yourself
with just that
vines
and no room for friends
in your cave
alone
(i hope you're pleased)

Again, please stop with the childish remarks. It's painful enough to go through what just happened, but to read people's opinions who have surfaced just for this occasion hurts a bit.