a wish?

I was browsing through London pictures and stumbled upon this one - me in Trafalgar Square. All I really remember from this day was a lot of walking and it getting a bit on the chilly side. I wanted to sit next to this fountain because a. I love fountains, b. It had a mermaid on it and c. I was tired and my feet hurt.

Katie asked me if my wish came true today. Thinking back to when we threw our coins into the center. To be honest, I can't remember my wish. Is it lost? Did it go to a place of forgotten fountain wishes?

I have a slight idea of what the wish was - or maybe it was more of a plea, or prayer. One 'wish' that will remain locked in the attics of my mind. Because, even though I don't remember the exact 'wish' - I do remember how I felt that day, in the sqaure, with the mermaid.


one with her hands
don't be afraid, she said
no one will know it
just you and me
and when it's over
i'll go back

-The Pool



There are always those people, you can call them vampires if you want - who need to live off of something or someone else to survive. They're fake at times, but haven't we all been?

They're sometimes easy to spot - as they follow on their leash, a puppy. You pull them along, knowing they need you. They can easily run, but they never do.


red's style secrets


Shoes are my passion: Pollini, Kurt Geiger, sleek boots by Sergio Rossi. Even if everything else is downplayed, I'll wear good shoes.

When I need to feel strong, I wear Hussein Chalayan; Viktor & Rolf for classic, sharp separates; and Robert Carey Williams when I am feeling hardcore.


To me glamour isn't about being sparkly. We are the real canvases, what's inside us; clothes are just our watercolours. But if I had to choose one brand it would be Viktor & Rolf because it is understated and has such intelligence behind it.


A sky-blue, woven leather Bottega Veneta. Because I have red hair, the colour goes well.

I never bargain-buy shoes or bags: it's always Pollini or a Bottega. And I can't get into the sheep mentality of fashion. If everyone is being seen with an 'It' bag, it's not the 'It' bag for me. I prefer to own a classic or something really new.


Jackie Onassis. She could wear a T-shirt and it could have the effect of an evening gown.

To read the entire article, go to the Daily Mail.

the bitches are back

Finally, it's here. Desperate Housewives premiered last night. It's back - and good. Sex, lies, dead people in the ground, and more sex.


Before Housewives, a group of the London '06 group went to see Dr. Allen perform in Bye Bye Birdie. It was rumored there were bats in the theatre, but to our luck, there weren't any.

It was weird to see our old professor tap dance and sing, but he did such a great job. I hope to see him in many more productions.

After the play, we went to M's, and I had the salmon, which melted in my mouth. I want more.

Then we finished the evening with Ted & Wally's. I had lemon chocolate chip.


still alive

You won't believe what I just found out
She's getting married on the fifth time 'round
Lining on my favorite sight
And I wondered where you are and realize
Something is painted in the snow that you'd like

Finally I'm going no sain
Wanna tell you something
We last for long
Well we've sometimes gone astray
But I can't care for nothing, no way

And I hope again to live this life
Just to see you again before I die

Yes I hope again to live this life
To see you once more before I die

And see you before I die

i need your grace

Last night was the premier of the third season of Grey's Anatomy. I am a little irritated that they moved to Thursday nights, but I will watch anyways. This show hits me on the inside - It's characters, their stories, the music they melt into the scenes.

Mollie know how emotional I can get, especially in movies. It's always movies, a lot of times music too. But movies, for some reason, turn on the water works. And it will be over little things. Maybe this is my outlet for all the times I don't show emotion for something I should?

But back to last night, the water works were turned on all the way to lefty-lucy. This season will be very good. I wish I could watch them all in a row. But you wouldn't see me, or hear from me, for some time. So maybe that is a good thing it's on once a week.

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?


exit 75

it's raining
and chilly out
which i like

what i don't like is thinking
about old loves

why can't the rain just put them out?

I think as you're getting married, all the loves, even 10-minute loves are popping up. Hotel was really like feeling like an agent - a spy - in that he was the greatest guy at one time and they were giving me time behind enemy lines. Even though she knows they can't be lovers because it's a whole other life, she just can't let him go.

Tori Amos
Alternative Press - July 1998


i have to learn to let you crash down
i have to learn to let you crash

met 'em in a hotel
met 'em in a hotel
you say he's the biggest thing
there'll be this year
i guess that what i'm seeking
i guess that what i'm seeking
isn't here
met him in a hotel
met him in a guess world
guessed anyone but you

you were wild
where are you now


Now, I know I'm not getting married, but you know what I am talking about. The ones you were with, that you can't ever seem to let go. Sure, you can not think about them, even 'forget' them at times - but we both know, we can never actually let them sail ship from our harbor. There are times we want to keep watch on them - or over them - just to see how they are, what they are doing, what they are thinking. But we have to learn we can't do that. It's over. It will never be - again. How do we learn that? Or is it just time that does the trick. Time, that when we are asleep or 'forgetting' they sail their ship from our bay and let's them crash down.


Oh Regina, you do look amazing, and all of the above in your new video. Keep on keepin' on.


And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better

my babies

Thanks to youtube being crazy for a couple days --- two videos posted. Anyways, this is a short clip of my turtles, Apollo and Martha.

Gina and Dave asked about them when I had a couple people over for the Iowa v Iowa State Game. I figured I would let them out since they haven't crawled around for some time. They loved it. And they got much faster.

But, it was time to put them back, until next time.



this song has playing through the sky lately. it seems to be everywhere. it reminds me of someone. someone who's been keeping me hypnotized.


pirate princess

Danelle's birthday was this past week. To celebrate we went to Naughty. I went once before, and swore to never go back - but I did this one time for her. I too follow Mollie's rules for this sorta thing. But we can bend them from time to time.

A man from Omaha Night Life told Mollie to 'take a picture with the guy she was eyeing from across the room.' We both laughed.

Shaking our pirate booty.

A Jimmy sandwhich with Kristin and Meredith buns.

I do love a pole dance or two.

There were girls there who called themselves the Omaha Calendar Girls. They thought that wearing two pairs of underwear was ok. That is only ok if you are Christina Aguilera and are in the Dirrty video.


safe. sound

Now it's words hard to look at
Hard to look at with the lights on
In your head it must not sound so bad
Or why would you say it
When you know i feel it


from outer space
or somewhere around there
so happy
next time
say, 'see you'


oh no she didn't

Tori has a new box set - A Piano: The Collection coming out September 26. And that makes me excited.

I was browing Perez and came upon a new Tori song, Not David Bowie. It rocks my face off, so you might want to listen to it - so your face, too, can get rocked off. The song is about her old guitar player, Steve Caton - who she has played with on three albums. She also poked a little with these lyrics from Jackie's Strength ("but virgins always get backstage, no matter what they've got to say") - it was rumored he would get girls back stage to meet Tori so they could meet her - and would sleep with them in return. They stopped playing together after her Plugged Tour and haven't said why they had a falling out, oh well.


Vultures in my garden
Figures that I know them
And it is what it is

You were good once
Now you're filled with bitterness
And it is what it is

I cannot forget that he can't forget
or that some friends just change like the seasons
Take me back to the fact that you're still blaming
but I am not the reason you are not David Bowie

Now you want to steal the thoughts
that I haven't even thought
and it is what it is

How 'bout your soulmate pact with the Devil
and needs a date with the surgeon
and it is what it is

I cannot forget that he can't forget
or that some friends just change like the seasons
Take me back to the fact that you're still blaming
but I am not the reason you are not David Bowie

You forgot to value
what all of us have done for you
and it is what it is

You swore you were concious
not a champagne spiritualist
and it is what it is

I cannot forget that he can't forget
or that some friends just change like the seasons
Take me back to the fact that you're still blaming
but I am not the reason you are not David Bowie


white boys can dance

Today Justin Timberlake's album FutureSex/LoveSound came out. I bought it and have been shaking my ass since. Now, many of you may think my moves aren't as smooth as Timberlake's, but a rumor - something you must know, he learned those dance moves from yours truly.



And all she wants is to dance
That's why you'll find her on the floor
But you don't have a chance
Unless you move the way that she likes
That's why she's goin' home with me tonight

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows



Last Friday Brent Crampton was mixing at The Max. Mollie, Monika and I met up with our friends Rodrigo and Paula. Someday they will teach us how to Tango and Salsa.

It was a good night of drinks and dancing. We were also Omaha Night Life whores and appeared in many pictures that evening. Please don't be scared off by me in the pictures, I look like a hot mess.


Five years ago was never forgotten, but I do think it slips our minds from time to time. All of us know what we were doing that day, how we heard it and so on. I remember my dad waking me up that morning and telling me that a plane crashed into the World Trade Center. We stared at the TV, thinking what the hell is going on?

I remember the drive to school. I remember going to my first class and that being the only thing we talked about. I remember walking out of class, past Eppley, to the student center, and seeing every single person on their phone, talking about what happened.

The world stopped that day. And the weeks that followed went slow - for us here anyway. I'm sure you all can recall trying to find something that wasn't news on TV. One thing I was glad was back on the air were the late night talk shows. David Letterman had one show prior to the video above. Tori was the first performer to sing after the attacks and she played Tom Wait's Time - which seemed to fit well.


I Can't See New York

From here
crystal meth
metres of millions
the end
all we have,
soul blueprint.
did we get
lost in it
do we
conduct a
for this

"from the other
from the other
what do they mean side of
what things...

and you said
and you did
and you said
you would find me
here and you said that you would
find me even in Death
and you said
and you said
You'd find me

I can't see New York
as I'm circling down
through white cloud
falling out
I know your lips
are warm
but I can't seem
to find my way
my way out
of your hunting ground


putting the damage on

This song always makes me think back to a few years ago, to the first boy I fell in love with. It was one of those things you knew you wanted it to work out, but in the end, it could never really be that way. Even though we both said it would be forever, our forever only last about a year. And this song makes me think of him, and the mountains, and the love that was so much, so big, in such a little amount of time.


don’t make me scratch on your door
I never left you
for a Banjo
I only just turned around for a poodle
and a corvette
and my impression
of my best Angie Dickenson
but now I’ve got to worry
cause boy you still look pretty
when you’re putting the damage on


Um, this I started writing in Australia. Um, during the end of the tour. And I couldn't finish it. This is one of those ones that, she just came and I had to like, keep getting to know her, every day, a little bit more. She would come and visit me every day, but sometimes no music would come. I mean, I'd just take a walk with her, I would sit around with her, I'd see movies with her, and she forced me to see things from a different perspective. And that's how I finally understood, "oh my god, that's the only way that I can write this, if I start seeing him as beautiful. That he's beautiful after all that happened. He's still beautiful, even after no matter what he does." Now that can say a lot about me, or that can say a lot about him.

Tori Amos
WHFS Just Passin' Through - February 12, 1996


not the red baron

Yes folks, I did it once again - ate an entire frozen pizza.

It all started back when I lived in Iowa City, when I was broke. I would buy the cheapest frozen pizzas and then eat them all (because they're never very good reheated). Not only would I eat an entire frozen pizza. I would eat a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's. My favorite was Everything But The...

I know on the last two slices that it was a bad mistake. That I shouldn't have done this. But pizza, being my favorite food, I can't resist.

cinnamon roll (reprise)

Yesterday Mollie and I had our day-of-fun (dof). We haven't had one in awhile, and I've missed her.

We started our dof at one of my favorite places, Farmhouse. My favorite server, Kat, was there. She is always wonderful for good conversation. I always make her tell me about her boyfriend, who works there as a cook, and how they kiss in the kitchen. Yes, what you see in the picture above is the all-famous cinnamon roll, like the ones from the pirate party. And yes, I did eat it all. And to those going to Farmhouse anytime soon, ask for Kat. She makes the cinnamon rolls the best and adds large amounts of fat-free, calorie-free frosting. Well, we can all hope its really that good for you.

Stuffed, we then went to see The Wicker Man. It was interesting at first, but then slowly went downhill. During one scene, Mollie grabed my arm and screamed like a banshee. At the end, we both looked at each other - I said, 'That was weird.' She said, 'That was stupid.' Oh well, they can't all be winners.

labor-free day

Sunday was a good day. Another compound grill out with most of the family and friends. The weather was wonderful - Autumn was knocking on the door. Leaves are beginning to turn and fall. Midnight and Brownie came to play. Uncle John kept throwing them Fritos. Aunt Re would yell at him. Todd and Joe broke out the Jack and Caffeine-Free Diet Coke.

Gavin's new friend, the grasshopper.

Garrett - I think he is one of the cutest babies ever.

'The Hag' - a duck caller. I almost hid it from Gavin and Ellerie because they wouldn't stop duck calling.

Take it like a chicken! A beer-roasted chicken. It was delicious. Jeff, I saved you a piece.

Me, Ellerie, Babe, and Gavin. He seems to be doing his impression of a mummy. And Ellerie is one of the biggest camera posers.

Oh yes, the fire. It's always a good night when you end it with a fire and s'mores. Thanks to Joey, he is a pyro and can make huge fires. Although, this time my mom started this one.

I know you can't really make this picture out, but it was a full moon. The clouds hid it behind them. It was a chilly night - sweater weather is on its way.