you're in my book
my pop-up book
you were read last a few chapters back
but you've come back
hidden in between my pop-ups
you made them yourself
you're always crafty like that
but you tend to color outside the lines
why did you pop-up
in my pop-up book
turn the page
fold down
until you pop-up again


rubber robe

I love how Christians are always accepting and never the first to throw stones.

In an address to the Curia, the Pope said, "(The Church) should also protect man from the destruction of himself. A sort of ecology of man is needed. The tropical forests do deserve our protection. But man, as a creature, does not deserve any less" describing anything outside of a traditional hetero relationship as "a destruction of God's work."

The Pope sure knows his way with words.


no gays for one day

Why am I at work right now? I should be out volunteering or protesting against Prop 8. Well, I will be doing a silent protest while clients yell and I work.

But really people, let all the gays marry.



I love love love Lady Gaga. Her album is all pop and it's not the shit pop that you hear on the radio. Please do yourself a favor and download it and shake your ass.


birthday girl

To Gina, on her day...

Though paths may be hidden, some are meant to be missed. For those certain paths are filled with what-ifs and other empty ideas. On this path focus on all the good, the future, and to making choices for yourself - choices that will help you grow. I love you.



fuck you

fuck you cancer. you seem to take away all things good. you're never a good thing and you ruin everything.


beer & bagel run

On Sunday at 8am, we stood on top of one of Mt Cresent's giant hills, only waiting to run down it. Dawn, Dennis, Rich, Ali, and I all ran the Beer and Bagel Off-Road Run. This was through forests and up giant hills/mountains (I'm not sure what to call them). The weather was a balmy 25 degrees, it even started to flurry at the top.

The race wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. My lungs didn't burn like I had though they would. What helped me out was on such steep inclines, people would end up walking and you would be stuck behind them. It's those little breaks that saved me. The cold was horrible though. My feet were so numb I couldn't feel them until the third mile. And, it was so cold my iPod stopped working! Such is life.

I placed 236 out of 400. I wasn't running as hard as I could have, but I was just doing it for fun. My time was around 35 minutes for a run that was about four miles.

I can't wait to do it again! Let's hope it's much warmer next year! Next...The Turkey Wobble - or whatever it's called on Thanksgiving day. BE THERE!!!


life is good

Recently, two of favorite people lost their father. He was battling cancer for four years and was a trooper through it all. He was always in high spirits no matter what came his way. How many people do you know could remain so positive with so much being thrown at you? I know a lot of us would bitch all the time. Not Jeff. He can teach us all a very valuable lesson - don't take life for granted, because life is good.

prop h8

Homegirl, Melissa Etheridge, is on the right track of thinking with the passing of Prop 8. She wrote a piece in The Daily Beast, below. Maybe since Iowa/Nebraska doesn't have anything in place, should I not pay taxes either? What would happen if all the gays who aren't able to legally get married didn't pay taxes? I would like to see them give us our rights then.

You Can Forget My Taxes

Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don't mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We're gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you are gay, yeah, that's not so bad. Of course all of the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and gym teachers and such, they won't have to pay their taxes either.



We can all let out a sigh of relief, Obama won the election. We are in desperate need of change and he will bring it. I can honestly say, I've never been more proud to be an American with a president I love. Cheers to Obama.


She writes so loud

We once were...

a community of bloggers. A group that lived and breathed blogging. An event would happen and we'd exclaim, "I have to blog about that!" A group where individuals blogged daily. Sometimes more than once a day. And the comments flowed like honey. Lots of comments. And responses to the comments.

We were led and inspired by The Red Portfolio: the oldest and wisest of the bloggers. One who blogged about heartache and fashion and other bloggers. Simple blogs. Lovely blogs.

Then there was the maniac herself. Who told us grand stories through photos. Never a blog of despair, Danelle P took us on trips, brought us through her engagement and wedding and kept us upbeat, while our other blogs were peppered with demons.

Our most common denominator, Operation Peter Pan, was who our hearts laid with. Never lacking a song (especially Tori) or a poem or a vlog. We were with Peter when he found love and lost love. When he took the greatest leap and felt the greatest heartache. He was ours and brought us together.

We followed Cubical Relief, Just Keep Swimming, What the Funk and How Typical. They followed us. We lived for the notifications of new blogs. Reading a new blog was Christmas. And writing a new blog was therapy.

We once were a community of bloggers. Now our community has dwindled and faded away. The maniac is still great about updates, but for the rest of us, well we've found new therapies. Or maybe we don't need our therapy anymore. Maybe the things we used to blog about don't exist in our lives anymore. Heartache was replaced by love. Despair by content. Limitless time by full schedules.

We once were a community of bloggers. We still are in archives and our hearts.


This touched me. Seriously. I loved those days. We were all finishing up our degrees and moving on to our first real job. Nancy loved it when the bloggers would unite and she would exclaim so. She mentioned how I was the glue that held everyone together. To me, everyone held each other together through all of our adventures, heartaches, or stories we have shared on this virtual world.

It's our photo book of our lives in the past years. We can click a page and it will take us back to that moment. With our stories, we have weaved ourselves together, glue made of smiles and tears, losses and gains. These stories are forever in my heart.

i voted!

I got to the poll right at 7 a.m. when it opened. I met my mom and we stood in line for no more than 15 minutes...not to shabby!

It felt good to vote. Let's pray for change.
Now, where's my free Starbucks, doughnut, ice cream, and vibrator?

not the lip gloss and panties!

This is a serious issue with a silly message, well I think so anyways. I don't see why someone would invest so much time to try and stop something like marriage from happening. People must have too much time on their hands.


everyone knows...

everyone knows the trouble i've seen
everyone knows even jesus
everyone knows the troubles i've seen

after two stolen elections
after the skies went quiet
on 9/11
everyone knows even jesus
cause everyone knows
the troubles i've seen
everyone knows even jesus

everyone knows
the trouble i've seen
everyone knows
everyone knows

you got here before i did
oh yes lord, don't you forget
to tell all my friends
that i'm coming too
oh yes, lord
stay, don't forget
everyone knows
down here
the trouble i've seen
well, everyone knows
even jesus
everyone knows the trouble i've seen



oh, give me a world
where caterpillars smoke
evil queens run with axes
give me a make believe world

tea parties everyday
we're late for one now
let's hop to the next one
in our dream world of fun


It's a sad thing. I don't know nearly as much as I should about this election. Yes, I know it's a very important one, as are all elections, but I am just out of the loop. I know the basics. I know who I dislike and who I will vote for. But I am always thinking I might be missing something in the elections. Am I voting for the wrong one? I know I can't be the only one in this boat. There's so much politics. So much shit everywhere. I've come to the realization that everyone must lie. All I know is, I want to save the polar bears and I don't want a woman in office who always winks.



There was no sleeping in Saturday morning. The girls woke at an early 8 a.m. and we decided we would head to the Japanese Gardens. We had a little trouble getting there so we found a Starbucks and got our morning fuel. They didn't know how to get to where we needed, for they were worthless at directions.

We arrived to turning leaves of bright yellow. Two rows of them. It looked like a photograph. We made our way up the gravel path to the entrance. Inside was amazing. Picture perfect scenery. Trees of all shapes, colors and sizes - I was in Tree Heaven!

It was one of those places where you couldn't take enough pictures. Inside there were five gardens: The Flat Garden, Strolling Pond Garden, The Tea Garden, Natural Garden, and Sand and Stone Garden. While in the several gardens there were many photo ops - prom pictures, bridge poses and countless more. I'm sure to the other visitors we looked like damn fools.

If/when I make it back to Portland I will definitely come back to visit the Gardens. It was so peaceful. It was the perfect time to go with the leaves changing color and a slight chill in the air.


lots of trees and a waterfall

We returned from Portland today. We celebrated Chelsea's birthday BWAP style. For those who are unaware of what BWAP is, it's Birthday Weekend At Portland. I know what you're thinking, 'At Portland' makes no sense. We originally celebrated Nes' birthday, BWALT - Birthday Weekend At Lake Tahoe, and it made sense to keep 'At.'

Anyways, I digress. The trip got off to a bad start with our flight to Denver being cancled. We ended up driving ourselves to Des Moines, Iowa to make it to Portland that evening. Our connecting flight was at O'Hare. There, we made friends with Paul and Jordan, local residents of Portland. With our flight being delayed we found ourselves in an airport bar with Chelsea yelling "It's my birthday!" to everyone. We boarded the plane, Chelsea saw a penis under Paul's coat lit by the light of his cell phone, and Dennis and I napped.

I will blog individually about our experiences while in Portland. But I will say, it's a very beautiful city filled with lots of what seemed like earthy people, and I liked that. We saw a drag show that had been around for over 30 years, male strippers who were raping the innocent, a China town gas station with locked everything, Chelsea poop every five minutes, and an angry cyclist. My favorites were the Japanese Gardens and The Grotto, both so beautiful.

Our flight home was also a doozy. No one had us down on a flight so we fought with Frontier to find us a way back to Des Moines, where my car was parked. Thank you Frontier Girl who helped us.

Happy Birthday Chelsea, I hope BWAP was everything you'd hoped for.


southern belle

Ashley J Webb - Thank you for being fabulous. She found herself on the Atlanta Journal-Constitution recently and lovely photos are displayed.

I texted her this morning to let her know how fly she is. She told me to come to Atlanta. I fear she might make me stay, working as her competitor in a gay real estate agency - a dream job she has for me.

BEST FIND: "A beautiful black vintage dress for only $18 at Stefan's Vintage Clothing store in Little Five Points. "I loved it when I tried it on but I didn't know if I'd ever find a place to wear it. . . I was about to put it back when the friend I was with made me buy it. God bless her! Besides, it was only $18! What was I thinking? I feel like I'm Audrey Hepburn every time I wear it."

good news

Tori had a great article discussing her play, The Light Princess, her new DVD and an upcoming album!
The rad news about the album is that each song will be tied to its own short film. That makes me excited.
"The National Theatre [with whom she's in talks] has been more open-minded than anyone I could have worked with on Broadway, but everything has to be approved by committee, and I have to tell you that not everyone is aboard my Bösendorfer rocket-ship. They can pull out and this musical may never be staged, but I don't want to be writing for a fuddy-duddy audience."


happy brithday

blow out all your candles dad.

love you.

i kissed a boy

...and I liked it so much that I want to get married! OK, maybe not quite yet! But, I love how the Connecticut Supreme Court ruled that same sex couples can marry. Rock on. This make the third state to rule in favor for gay marriage. California and Massachusetts is also on the wagon. Let's hope all states follow in this path.


This has been floating around for awhile and I think it's cute and alarmingly correct.


This is so Jurassic Park!

If anyone is clueless as to why this is like my favorite childhood film, I shall explain. In Jurassic Park, dinosaurs started reproducing in the wild because their DNA was cloned from that of a frogs. Certain frogs can adapt to harsh changes, such as turning into male and female.

I think that is crazy. Chivalry is dead in the shark world.



I thought I would like Sarah Palin, but she proves to me everyday something is wrong with her. The thought of a beauty queen in the Oval Office sounded nice. But watching her interviews, with her stumbling over her words, makes her seem dim and idiotic.
First off, she thinks homosexuality is a choice. Second, she thinks if a 15 year-old girl is raped by her father, that she should get counselling and not an abortion. Last, she is all for oil drilling and doesn't think global warming is greatly impacted by man.
Sarah, you're supposed to be acting as our mother. Someone to nurture our country back to health. Where's your feminist views? Is it in the oil-polluted waters of Alaska?


it makes sense

Obama is more grounded with your average American -- not somebody like McCain with "12 houses."
"The other guy [McCain] can lose five houses," Rock said.
"I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house."

-Chris Rock on Larry King


america's next top model

So today I become a model! Well, today I start taking courses to become one. What is a model anyways? Anyone can be one. Anyone can help move a product, well, maybe not anyone.

Today is also the day I start my eating disorder. I've gotten out of the gym routine for the past few weeks and will getting back into it, which makes me a happy camper. Nes also told me about exercise bulimia. I think it'll work out just fine. Plus, it's a lot healthier than starving myself or making myself throw up. Plus, it keeps my teeth looking pretty.



If any of you know me, know me, you know that I have a deep-seated love for apple cider. My love takes me down an hour south to Nebrsaka City to visit the Arbor Day Farm's apple orchard in the fall. Today, my love for it took me to Whole Foods. Actually, I just went to whole foods to eat gilato and discovered they had a new flavor, Apple Cider Chadonnay Sorbet! It tastes just like apple cider and I could eat a gallon of it a day! But wait, I have to start being a model this week, so bring on the eating disorder!


trees and a piano

With the recent move of Dennis' mother, I have started plans on turning the piano room into the piano/tree room. It makes me one happy lad to be able to do a room with all trees! Yesterday I bought three tree painting's from Brian's sister, Michelle. They are rad. Then, while at dinner last night, Chris, our friend Kelly's boyfriend, said he would be more than happy to do the framing for the paintings. I will post the photos of them when everything is complete. I'm excited what he has in mind for them - he does it all from scratch.

Since we're on the topic of the piano room, my lessons have become non-existent. I enjoy playing the two tori songs I know. When I say play them, I mean I know a few bars of the songs - not the complete piece. I must and will get back into lessons! Maybe the trees will inspire me.

it's back!

After what seemed like forever, Heroes is back! I dork out over this show so bad...you don't even know me!

This season looks really good. I think they keep getting better! We shall see tonight...


ahoy matey

Today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Put on your eye patch, grab some treasure and head out on the open sea.

"They look like pirates from here,"
Boy I've been one for years - just keeping my head.

Tori Amos - Snow Cherries From France


drummer boy

Now this is rad! You can get drum lessons from Matt Chamberlain. The sad thing is you have to be in Seattle.

Sept 13th 2008 Seattle

Hello everyone, i am going to be giving drum Lessons from Sept. 22nd thru Sept 26th at my good friend Donn Bennett's Drum Shop in Seattle. You can call him to set up times at 425-747-6145. MC

from margaret...

This was posted on Margaret Cho's blog in response to her comments over Sarah Palin.
It's funny how "Christians" seem to be the first ones to judge or make comments, doesn't it? I'm guilty of it. I was raised Christian, I can't really say I'm practicing by any means, but I do love Jesus, and that's all that matters to me. Having faith in something matters to me - putting a name on it isn't a high priority, especially since people in the last couple thousand years haven't demonstrated the best Christianity towards each other.

I’m a Christian, you Fuckers
All kinds of Christians are getting mad about my Sarah Palin comments, and it is pissing me off.

First of all – you fucking fake Christians - don’t fucking question my Christianity. I grew up in the church. My grandfather was a minister, who is with God now and talks to me in my dreams from God’s corner office. I am a former Sunday school teacher. I taught the Bible to children and showed them how to love God and invite him into their hearts. I believe in God – but I don’t fear him. God is my best friend. God is my ally. God is my boyfriend. God is my best fag. I am God’s fag hag cuz didn’t you know, God is a big fag. Serious bottom too. Butch in the streets, femme in the sheets. That is my God. God is my biggest fan. God gets me, dude.

God wants us all to just get along. He doesn’t give a shit about the profanity. The bitch fucking invented profanity. He thinks it is hilarious. He just wants you to talk to him, and he doesn’t care what you have to say. He just wants to keep the conversation going. Like Jay-Z, he just wants to love you. He just wants you to be able to make your own decisions. God is all about you and what you need. God is happy that you are gay. God made you fucking gay cuz he thinks it is awesome. God understands if you need to have an abortion. That is why he created abortion, on the 8th day. God accepts. God forgives. God loves all of us, even though some of us might have a problem with each other.

Don’t fucking question my Christianity you fucking idiot assholes. If you continue to have a problem, then talk to God about it, not me, you fucking racist homophobic misogynist fake Christian shitheads. God thinks it is funny that I swear so much. He said I could use his name in vain or whatever. He just wants me to use it. He loves me. So fuck you. And I guess he loves you too. Even though you are fake Christian assholes. If you were truly Christians, you would let gays get married, and send them fucking presents from Bed Bath and Beyond!

If you truly believed in Jesus, you would try to be like him and love us, fags and dykes and feminists all. God bless you, even you. You fucking fuckers.


birthday girl

To my favorite cupcake in the bakery, on her birthday, I wish her good times and countless wishes. Happy Birthday Danelle (and congrats!)!

my little ballerina

Congrats to Ellerie who auditioned for the roll of a caterpillar for The Nutcracker and got a call saying she is in it today!

I will for sure be yelling during her part - and you can't stop me!

water works

So I was just in the men's restroom at the urinal when a man came to use the toilet next to me. He was one of those flush while you piss kinda guys. I don't understand that, why flush while peeing? It doesn't make sense because you end of flushing twice.

Another thing I don't get is when a guy talks to you while you're standing there peeing. I don't want to talk to you, especially while I'm releasing myself.

Then you move onto the stall etiquette. You have the guys who rip ass when there's multiple people in there. Or some guys who drop bombs when there's a number of people in there. For me, if the emergency arises where I need to use the stall to do business, I only make moves when the coast is clear, when no one is in there.

I wonder if the women's restroom is the same? Do they follow different rules then the men's room does?

burnin rubber

This coming Sunday is the Omaha Corporate Cup. It's a 10K, so about 6 miles. I am a little skeptical as to whether or not I can pull this one off. I haven't been running as much as I should and I never run a full 6 miles. Let's pray to Jesus that I won't fall on my face!


i do

Just a heads up to anyone who cares - I will be taking part in a bridal show on September 20th. When and where this shindig takes place is beyond me, so I will keep you updated. All I know is I'm wearing a tux.

On other news similar to this, I have signed a contract with Hoffman Modeling Agency. They asked that I take the professional course so that I'm not a complete idiot on sets/runways. That's another thing - they want me to do runway. Have they seen my walk? It's similar to that of a penguins. I blame that all on wiffle ball!



see the colors changing.

Omaha sky


I can see it now
but it's still foggy
confusion settles
and buildings rise

we still see you
we still feel you

pick up the pieces
take off the leashes
put a candle in the window
let the dish fill with rain

we'll always see you
we'll always feel you

keep looking up
find your cloud
and remember

watch + listen

Simply beautiful.


where's my bed?

Last night Dennis, Rich and Alli went to Baby Blue yesterday after work to take advantage of their happy hour. I loved me some $5 Sammy Davis Jr's and some Crunch Blue. I must say Baby Blue is much better than Blue in the sense they actually wait on you instead of ignore every customer. They're still slow as donkeys, but at least they were nice and kept bringing me beverages.

Afterwards we all went back to our place to show Lucy off. We had some Sterling Syrah which I received as my red wine in the month of August. It was good, but not my favorite. Alli and I had a chugging contest with Busch Light. I obviously won. Then we thought it was a great idea to go to Senior Matias for their happy hour of margaritas and tacos. I hit my tired wall around midnight.

When we got home we arrived to a giant poo from Lucy. When Dennis tried to get Kora outside she peed in the house. It seemed like everyone was having accidents. Thank the lord I held it all in.

6 a.m. rolled around. I thought I was half dead. What is this? I never have hangovers! I wanted to stay in bed until noon. I wanted to skip work and not come in until next month. But I was a trooper and came in. I was too lazy to make coffee, but I did walk down to get breakfast: bacon, biscuits and gravy and hash browns. The perfect remedy to curing a hang over. Now, I still need sleep, but at least I don't feel like balls anymore!


Who doesn't love Speed (heart) Hump Head?


introducing...our new pony

Meet Lucy. She's a year and a half years old and 100 pounds. She isn't done growing quite yet, so she will get a tad bit larger. She is so sweet. She loves to cuddle, play tug-of-war, drool, sleep, and play in the yard. Really, she's just a huge stuffed animal and I could squishy-squishy her face all day long. We plan on buying saddles and riding her to work to save on gas. She likes to sleep in our bed too. Dennis claims she sneaks on the bed in the middle of the night. She doesn't wake me up, so she must move as quiet as a little mouse.

A little update with Kora - We have been working with No Pets Left Behind to find her a good home. One of mostly women and a quiet surrounding. If you know anyone who would be interested - give me a call at 402.212.2013. We would love to keep her, but she is just a bit too scared to stay with us. Please let me know if you know someone who would be interested.


dog...or cat?

We have an issue. Our dog is terrified - of everything. People, noises, shadows, imaginary things - everything freaks her out. She is in classes now to teach her to sit, come, roll over, all those things they learn in class. But our dog isn't the average dog. We can't reward her because she's sometimes too scared to take treats. She isn't so much a dog you can play with, but a house cat that will try anything to get out of your way.

Should we take her back? If we take her back we would have to return her to the rescue place, which seems more like doggy hell. It's quite sad at Towne and Country. I would recommend never rescuing a dog from there - because they lie and the suck at life. I would feel bad for taking her back, but keeping her is difficult. Watching your every move so she doesn't freak out and run into a wall. Even so much as opening a jar will make her run.

What should we do? Are we failures for wanting to give up? I feel bad, but our dog is special needs and we need to fix it! I want a dog I can play with and will love me! is that too much to ask?


big buys

So this past week has been one of large purchases. Included are:
More photos of a finished room will follow. All I have to say is, thank God for the no interest until 2010 NFM card.


please god

God - grant me patience. I need them more than ever.

I've never really had to be patient about anything. I'm used to getting my way as the wind blows. This time is different. Grab some good wine and listen to some music. Time will pass. Inhale, let it out.

Keep breathing.


first day of class

Kora had her first day of the Manners N' More class. We tried to teach her to sit, which was unsuccessful; to come when we call her name, which was unsuccessful; and to look at us in the eyes, which, as you guessed, was unsuccessful.

I assume she was on overload with other dogs in the room, but with a dog who is supposed to be one of the more intelligent of breeds, she made us think otherwise.

Keep your fingers crossed she will learn new things because homegirl is testing my patience.

birthday girl

Friday was My mom's birthday. Dawn, Dennis and I celebrated by taking her to lunch at M's Pub. It was tasty tasty. That evening Dennis made everyone Tacos and we watched Indian Jones.

Last night we had a party at the compound. My mom looked like an alcoholic with all the wine she received as presents. That lady does enjoy the drink.

Dawn made a Dump Cake. It's ingredients make a delicious dessert: white cake, pineapple, cherries, and lots of sugar! She also made a watermelon drink. All I know is it was all alcohol and it was good.

We tried to teach people floppy lips. Gavin can't do it yet. Garrett just spits everywhere. Todd's mom had the best ones.

Gavin: Call a vet because these are sick puppies!

My mom is an amazing woman. That's all there is to it. Here's to many more birthdays.



Dennis is teaching me piano. I'm still in the very beginning stages. It's actually ridiculous how I can't recall any notes from playing cello. But we're in the now. And we're trying to learn the G key now. I was perfectly fine with A, B, C, D, and E for both hands. They had to throw in F and G. I can hardly play Tumbling In The Leaves with is only a couple measures. Why can't I be a prodigy such as Tori. It's moments like these where I wish I had pushy parents that enrolled me in something musical and made me stay put.

Another problem I have is timing. Dennis suggests I use the metronome. I say that it confuses me and I find it tricky to play with. I find myself off beat and tripping over my fingers.

Patience. They tell us in dog training we need patience. I don't have very much of this. I'm praying for the day I am fine with practicing Leaves over and over without wanting to quit.

I'm also debating recording a video of these silly practice sessions. Just don't laugh to my face.


old man river

Yesterday my back was messed up. Today it hurts worse. It's almost humorous to watch me do simple tasks. Anything from putting on socks, sitting or getting out of a chair or even walking. My back has locked up in the past. In one incident I even threw a remote control at Jamie when I lost all movement in my arm due to a back spasm. It was one of the funniest things to see. But today it hurts. The pain won't go. I took some meds, but I think I need a 2-hour massage. Maybe a spa day is in order. Who's coming?

take a trip on a rocket ship

Yesterday was the release of Comic Book Tattoo, a comic book collection of over 50 stories, inspired by Tori Amos songs. Over 80 artists from every style and genre contributed to this beautiful book. It's stories bring new meaning to already wonderful songs. The pictures and story lines are beautiful.

The book is huge. It's a coffee table book to the max. You don't have to be a Tori fan to appreciate these comics, but it doesn't hurt to be one either. I did want the hard cover, but that was a little pricey, so I stuck with the paper back.

It's interesting how the book came to be. A good friend of hers, Rantz, brought up the idea. They'd been friends for well over 20 years now and they both had influences on one another. He introduced her to the world of comics and she wrote a song about him (Flying Dutchman, "They say your brain is a comic book tattoo and you'll never be anything..."). He introduced her to Neil Gaiman as well. The idea came up about a year ago - she let the artists have free range of all creative - no censorship whatsoever. Go Tori.

Below is a photo of Tori at Comic Con - this huge comic convention. Her dress is bangin.


c is for cookie

All I know is - I love my baby because he buys me Eileen's cookies. Monster is my favorite and I could most likely eat one everyday.


fast times

How do things happen as fast as they do? I feel like I rarely have time to sit down and write anything. This time, I do have a little rest period. It's been a lazy day of nap time with Dennis, the gym and walking Kora. To give you a quick update of my life of the past 7 months....

Many of you already know I moved in with Dennis. It's amazing. I love spending time with him and I can never get enough. We keep making improvements with the house. It's coming along. I wish I had endless money. I want hardwood floors. But we don't plan on staying here forever.

We got a dog! Kora Ginger. Some say it sounds like a stripper name. I don't care! She's a cattle dog/husky mix. She is quite shy and we are breaking her of that. She starts training classes tomorrow. Wish her luck!

We went to South Lake Tahoe for Nez's birthday. It was beautiful. Sans the smoke from fires. I thought it would be more upscale than it really was, but to pause the comments of sounding like a snob, I will stop there. One evening we had an international cook-off, representing all continents...I was Antarctica. Mine was a disaster. Who knew baking cookies in a different altitude would alter the results? I would post photos, but there ended up being well over 1000. They're available on Facebook.

Our next trip will be Portland. I've always wanted to visit.

The trip after that will be a Mexican cruise. I'm not a big one on cruises, but with the right mixture of people, it will be good times.

If you haven't seen Batman, see it. It's so dark and smart.

Mamma Mia wasn't as wonderful as I'd hope it would be. Who would ever think to cast 007 as a singing role?

I'm going to start to prepare for a race from Omaha to Lincoln. It will consist of 7 people, with running an average of 7-13 miles. They will for sure be taking me out of there in an ambulance.

That's enough rambling for now. I miss it. I will post more.


happiest day of the year

Today is considered the happiest day of the year. I would tend to disagree. I think you should works towards everyday being the happiest.

Today is a wonderful though. Dennis and I are taking half days at work, so our weekend will start at noon. We will most likely get our new dog this weekend! We're having a cookout at the compound this evening. Tomorrow we will be having a bbq at our house.

According to a psychologist, he developed the formula for the happiest day of the year. His formula doesn't make any damn sense to me, but here it is: O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He (O - outdoors and outdoor activity, N - nature, S - social interaction, Cpm - childhood summer and positive memories, T - temperature, and He - holidays and anticipating time off).

Crazy formula aside, there's so many great things on such a great day. Here's to you best day of the year.


10 commandments of fashion

I know I'm not the most fashionable person, but I do enjoy looking put together. GQ created a list of commandments of fashion every man should follow. I think I do pretty well...

1. Honor thy tailor
2. Thou shalt wear sneakers made for a man
3. Thou shalt invest in the right timepiece
4. Thou shalt match your socks with your suit
5. Thou shalt not wear a tie that is too slim
6. Thou shalt put your wallet on a diet
7. Thou shalt wear the right tie with the right tux
8. Thou shalt wear brown shoes—with nearly everything
9. Thou shalt learn when to cuff ‘em
10. Remember thy undershirt

I do have to disagree with commandment 2, I love my Nike, no one can take that away. Also, I don't usually like cuffed pants (#9).

I do rock a slim wallet (thank you Jack), a nice timepieces (which I usually forget to put on) and I love brown shoes.
I thank GQ, as my fashion bible.


old, but good times

Nancy and I were reminiscing about Molly's blog today. Nancy came across this old post and I remember it like it was yesterday. It was one of those Jimbo/Molly moments were you laugh so hard you cry and you feel like telling everyone you know. Enjoy below.

molly: Oh my gosh Jimmy, I love that picture! Who drew it for you?

jimbo: Umm...that would be Van Gogh.

molly: (silence)

In my defense...the three people who sat behind me in Art History class in college, always debated on how to botch drug tests from their employers. By the end of the semester they had all agreed, ingesting some kind of gelatin concoction was the best way to throw off the results. That is way more interesting...than memorizing slides featuring Van Gogh.


find me a trail

Every time I think about mentioning the price of gas, I think of Molly shaking her head at me, "You sound like you're 80 years-old when you say things like that!"

But it's true. I love my car and I wouldn't trade Alice for anything. I have considered riding my bike to work. By my bike I mean the one I would have to purchase to get my ass to work. With living in my new dig, I haven't calculated how long it would take to get from point A to point B.

That main issue aside, here are other things that would arise from peddling to work:

-I sweat at the drop of a dime. I would most likely start pitting out by just getting on the bike.

-So I sweat, now where do I shower? Some know from not having AC in my car, Mary, for so many years that I definitely need to freshen up when I get to where I'm going. First Data doesn't have showers or really a place to change besides the bathroom.

-There are no good bike trails around my house. The closest trail is Lake Zarinsky and even that isn't very convenient. The nearest trail would be on 156th and Maple and that would involve me driving somewhere just to ride my bike.

Maybe these sound like excuses not to ride. Maybe I need to not bitch as much? All I know is, gas is expensive.


runner no. 911

I had my first official race on Monday. This was the 5 Mile Boys Town Memorial Day Run. I wasn't prepared for it but Dennis said we'd do ok. I'd like to say, he was good and I made it through. I was happy I ran the entire race, if you consider running so slow a turtle could pass you running. Below is my ranking - I did mediocre for overall placing but my age division sucks balls.

Distance: 5M
Time: 46:28
Pace: 9:18
Overall Place: 596 of 1190
Place in Gender: 397 of 597
Division M25-29 Place: 49 of 74

One thing I hated was the end of the race where everyone cheers for you. I was happy it was almost over, but all the people gave me anxiety - and I thought I was going to vomit. I thought I might die if I make it to the finish line and throw up my protein bar as they take my time.

it glows in the dark

This past weekend Dennis and I went to Chicago to see Kanye West's Glow In The Dark tour. I'll write more about the trip later, but wanted to say a few words about the show first.

The crowd was eclectic - white boys who thought they were the bomb, girls in dresses so short I swear I saw crotch, the black guys with bling, and the queers. We missed Lupe Fiasco, which I'm not heartbroken by. NERD was better than their Omaha performance a couple months ago, but maybe that was because of the looming pot smoke. Rihanna was awesome. She came out in a crazy black dress singing my favorite song off her new album, Breakin Dishes. She also sang the popular ones - SOS and a rock version of Umbrella.

I was expecting Kanye to be amazing. Mind-blowing. Out of the world! But, I didn't get what I expected. Maybe it's the fact I don't care for people who have large egos and are full of shit. Someone who loves them self so much that they are the only one on stage for the entire performance and who refer to themselves as the biggest star in the universe. Molly tells me I live in unicorn land at times. For Kanye, I think he has permanent residence. This is not to say I didn't enjoy myself. I can't say I'm a huge Kanye fan, but I did like some of the songs I knew - I Wonder, Stronger, Gold Digger and a few others. I just wish he would be a little more humble at times.

The time spent after the concert was Dennis and I figuring out for an hour and a half that no cabs came near the United center and taking a bus to the Loop and catching the Red line, almost pissing our pants and getting a cab back home. It was our own glow in the dark, space adventure in the city.


interesting cocktail

Over the weekend a new cocktail was invented. This was too far out there to have been mixed before.

Ingredients include: apple vodka, coke, orange juice, cherry pop rocks, and one tea bag.

The coke turns it a brownish color, while the orange juice and pop rocks make it very flavorful. You'd be surprised by its taste and it will leave you wanting more.

You can also follow this drink by your shot of choice and pop rocks. It's quite tasty.


go me!

Yesterday Dennis and I ran the larger portion of Lake Zorinksky. I've never been able to run the whole way through until last evening. To give you background on my issues with running, they are as follow: my head gets a lot of pressure built up that it feels like it could explode, it feels like someone is pulling down on my collarbone, I produce a large amount of saliva when I run.

Usually I stop one or two times in the five mile trek, but yesterday I went the whole way. Go me! I hugged Dennis because I felt like I accomplished something great. In my eyes, I did. Now, who wants ice cream?


open book

i know you won’t keep me in the dark
missing pages in your open book
i find
under kisses
around hugs
in lips
temperature changes
as the wind blows
through the branches
of a naked tree
under your kisses
around your hugs
in your lips
are your missing pages
that i fail to see
photo by jk



Sunday was a good day, Mother's Day. I don't see my mom much anymore, but I think of her everyday. She was happy to see we made her dinner and sangria. The lasagna was good, but I needed to improve my recipe of the sangria. I will let you know how that comes along. The kids are getting so big and so smart. Ellerie is reading books by herself. Gavin has discovered an online game where you can buy and sell stuff for your room (much like The Sims). And Garrett is talking non-stop and is really developing his own self.
For Mother's Day, I treated my mom and Dawn to two hours at Serenity Day Spa. It was a present I would love for myself, but I know they need it much more than me. It was nice to have Dennis there as well, his family doesn't really celebrate this day so he came with. The kids adore him and he gets them into trouble with using words such as poopey.
I think Mother's need more than just a day, at least my mom does. She is such an amazing, loving, caring, understanding woman. One I would never exchange for another. I couldn't ask for a better Mother.
Thank you mom.


mary #1

i’m not ready for the waves
keep them there
by the sand
in your hair
with sea breeze care

let me be
i can’t trek rock
i’ll skin my knees
keep the shells
and all her bells

dust me off
let things slide
put me back in the hive
with the queen
and the honey
where things are slow


dream on

The past few nights I've had uncountable dreams. Some good. Some bad. Most are random, but I think every dream has a purpose - what that purpose is, we usually never understand. Two nights ago I had nightmares that would wake me every hour or so. Last night I had dreams that would wake me, but these were more energy-enduced. I felt as if I was doing so much in my dream that I would wake from sleep. One thing that sticks out from my dream last night was jellyfish. I can't recall ever dreaming of these squishy creatures. I find them fascinating, but they don't really hold much value in my life. In the dream they were in the ocean, two of them, and about 10 that were on the shore dead. There was a small boy in the water near them and I called him in so he wouldn't get stung. Now, these were crazy looking jellyfish - they seem to spit at me, have fangs and spit at me. I noticed that when I woke up from it, I was upset. Anyways, wondering what this meant, I looked them up...
To see a jellyfish in your dream, represents painful memories that is emerging from your unconscious. There may be hidden hostility or aggression in some aspect of your waking relationship or situation. Alternatively, it may indicate feelings of inadequacy and a lack of self-esteem. Perhaps there is some situation in which you are unable to assert yourself.

I've never thought of myself having low self-esteem or any of that mess. But lately I've realized, I don't have many qualities that I find to be amazing or spectacular. I don't have any special talents or gifts. I'm not trying to say woe is me, but I want to find my passion or my something in this life that I can do extraordinary. Maybe soon it will come. Until then, maybe I'll just keep dreaming of jellyfish.



Last weekend was Ellerie's first ballet showcase. It was a short set that was very cute. They were dressed as butterflies.

After the show, a girl from Ellerie's team (do they call them teams?) copped an ego. 'Look Ellerie, I was so good I got two things of flowers.'

Dennis and I told her that she was not only prettier than the girl, but her flowers were better as well.


pee cup

So today I had to take a drug test for the new job. I always get nervous about this, because last time I took a test like this is ended messy. The last urine test I took was for First National and I was nervous I wouldn't piss enough in the cup. I go in, do my thing. In the middle of my thing I notice the pee isn't really filling the cup up. Before I know it, my hands are soaked in my own urine due to a crack being on the bottom of the cup. I call for the nurse, but then realize my pants are down. It was a hot mess.

So today, I actually had to pee for several hours, but wanted to hold it in case I couldn't go again. I get there, the guy takes his sweet time talking on the phone as I'm about to wet myself. I finally go. After inspecting the cup for defaults, I go. While I'm going my guy goes cock-eyed and hits the rim of the cup. Piss goes everywhere - the floor, me, the toilet. Of course it had to get on me, like I pissed myself. I thought to myself, I will never see this guy again, so I don't care if my pants are wet. So I hid the best I could and left immediately.

Let's pray I don't need to go back in in case they lost my sample.


peace the f out

Peace out First National, for I have gone on to bigger and better things. This is, of course, if I pass my background check and drug test. After applying to at least 10 positions within First National, and only getting interviewed for one, I applied at First Data. I had two interviews for two different positions, and I got the later of the two. I don't know my exact start date, but I assume it may be in the middle of April. This means I will have a week or so of free time - who wants to do lunch?!

Many of you probably have no clue why I am so excited. Let me give you a list of reasons:
-More money
-No Mexicans
-No smelly Mexicans
-No coke nails
-No people who can't speak English or fill out deposit slips
-No bitchy people or women with beards
-No one asking for the new quarters or dollar coin
-No more lines wrapping out of the door
-Normal working hours...NO WEEKENDS!
-Management who doesn't speak broken English
-Picnics with Dennis (best reason of all)
-Unblocked websites (Dlisted, PostSecret, SomeECards, Perez)
-The idea I can actually move out of my mom's house

These are just a few out of the many reasons, but you get the idea. I just find that it's shit that a company can say they want you to move up and grow, but this didn't happen with me. Banks view the teller line as the bottom of the barrel within itself. The truth is, they are the front line to that bank and if you treat them like shit, they'll in turn have poor customer service, which is what I was heading to. So, this said - goodbye.


birthday boy

To my guy on his birthday - Happy Birthday!!!!

And please come home now, because I'm so over you being gone.

Love you. Miss You.

I apologize if this is more of a photo collage of us and not him on his special day, but you don't know me! Plus, I don't have any of him in a party hat.