Dr. Dave

Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go......."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, Whispering:......


...............you're a vet".


This is really gross, but funny. It also makes me think of the line in Road Trip when the weird boy says, "It's not cheating if you put peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off."


No Judge Ito

So today was my big day in court. My boss, Teri, and I drove to the Tower and Julie from the security dept. walked to the court house with us. I've never been to the court house, and it's a good thing I left my .09 at home, because they have metal detectors.

We sat waiting for everything to start. It looked nothing like Law & Order. It was this stuffy room with lawyers and criminals running around. They would yell out a name to make sure you're there. They kept yelling, "Shannon Walker!" (Sorry, it's Shannon, not Karen). Finally, the little hooker-bitch came in, late of course, and just as strung out as I last remember her.

At the end of it all, Shannon didn't accpet the bargain our lawyer gave her, which was $500. So now I have to go back, to the same stuffy room in a month or so to testify. This time, they say, she is more likely to go to the big house because she has a long record of drugs and such.

It was all a strange experience, and Ms. Shannon Walker will be out on the streets, so all of you beware, she will try to sell meth to you, just kindly say no, walk away, and wait for our next court date.



Last night I purchased the Tori Amos - Original Bootlegs collection and Fade to Red - her new DVD video collection.

The bootlegs are amazing. They were $85 and not in my budget at all, but you get six concerts with quality sound - which can be hard to get from her shows. Maybe this makes me crazy, but I will be living off of cereal for the next few weeks.

Oh, David.

How you've got me hooked.



Jewel or Feather?

Happy Birthday to one of my favorite Indians, Franz. This evening I told him about my bad back and how I can barely move at times. He said he would be able to help by cracking it. I, at first, was worried about this but then realized he was a doctor - or at least studying to be one. As he had his way with me, I felt my back feeling much better. Come to find out - the problem was mostly in my neck. Let's just pray I can get out of bed tomorrow.


I feel your twin, peek-a-boo

What is it with our different sides. Our happy selves, or evil selves. When do we decide to pull them out - or do they appear without our control at all?
I have several selves, as does everyone else. The one I notice the most is my writing. It looks as if I have multiple personalities after I have literally written something out - none of my hand writing looks the same. Another side I have recently seen is the evil side, and it isn't even that evil, through nasty words via text messaging. I don't really think that's my nature to be cruel, but it's definately a side of me.


The State of Nebraska vs. Karen N. Walker

So I've been ordered, by the State of Nebraska, to appear in court as a witness next Friday. This is because I caught that girl trying to cash a check, months ago, that wasn't hers - and upon their inspection, they also found meth and the ingredients to make meth in her friend's car. I felt horrible for turning her in, I'm not sure why. Maybe it isn't that I feel bad, but that I feel embarassed for her.
So anyways, while in court, I wish to yell something out loud, for all jury members and judge to hear. Something that will make time stand still and maybe change the way peole view things. "I object!" I'll yell. Or maybe they won't even need me to testify, and I'll be yelling in my head, to myself, which is something that isn't new at all.


And so it is

Do you ever get those days where you just need to let it all out. A good cry. While watching Grey's Anatomy it started to come (it was a very good one). Then you just listen to a little Damien Rice and the rest follows.
It's the shortest month, February. How come it seems so much fits into it.
--- --- ---
Something unusual, something strange
Comes from nothing at all
But I'm not a miracle
And you're not a saint
Just another soldier
On the road to nowhere
Amie come sit on my wall
And read me the story of O
And tell it like you still believe
That the end of the century
Brings a change for you and me
Nothing unusual, nothing's changed
Just a little older that's all
You know when you've found it
There's something I've learned
'Cause you feel it when they take it away


Happy Birthday General Koenig

To Brian, who drives all the ladies (and mostly boys) crazy with his choice in hat wear. Thanks for being a good friend - someone who never judges, but who lets you know if you're getting a little chubby.



It's always so nice to see gay people on MTV, the few and proud. But sometimes they are a little too proud. They are usually very attractive until they open their mouth or even move. Why is it that MTV always picks the queerest of the queer? I know plenty of gay men who don't bounce when they walk or have more hand action than a flight attendant (that analogy was pretty queer, sorry).
So here's to MTV turning over a new leaf and picking not so flamboyant men for shows such as Next or the horrible I Want To Date Your Mom, or whatever the hell it's called.


Pretty Denny

So four years have passed since my father has been around to make us laugh and to play his tricks on us. Four strange years, and oh, how they keep getting stranger. Maybe he is putting ice on Jesus's chair when he gets up to use the restroom? I'd like to think so.

boys get discovered as winter MELTS
flowers competing for the sun
years go by and I’m here still waiting
withering where some snowman was
mirror mirror where’s the crystal palace
but I only can see myself
SKATING around the truth who I am
but I know dad the ice is getting thin
hair is grey and the fires are burning
so many dreams on the shelf
you say I wanted you to be PROUD of me
I always wanted that myself
he says when you gonna make up your mind
when you gonna love you as much as I do
when you gonna make up your mind
cause things are gonna change so fast
all the WHITE HORSES have gone ahead
I tell you that I’ll always want you near
you say that things change my dear...


Where's all my soul sistas?

So as I am enjoying my thin crust Freschetta pizza, there is a knock at the door. I opened it to find two beautiful, young ladies. I had a feeling they were wanting to spread the word of Jesus to me. I told them some poor excuse of getting ready for work, which was a lie (does that make it even worse I lied to sisters?), and asked if they had a card I could get back to them with. Not thinking Jesus soldiers had business cards, one of the girls pulled a card from her bag.

So if you're reading this Sister Skinner and Sister Cunningham, I am sorry I lied to you about getting ready for work, but I do not care to hear about the Morman religion. I even more regret not answering the door in the nude, which is something I have always wanted to do. Please accept my sins and apologies.



So I want to kill this waitress
She’s worked here a year longer than I
If I did it fast you know that’s an act of kindness

But I believe in peace
I believe in peace, bitch
I believe in peace

I want to kill this waitress
I can’t believe this violence in mind
and is her power
all in a club sandwich

But I believe in peace
I believe in peace, bitch
I believe in peace

I believe in a something
I believe in that girl
I believe in her goodness
I believe in the darkness
but I believe that she’s the Devil bitch

I want to kill this killing wish
There’re too many stars and not enough sky
Boys all think she’s living kindness
Ask a fellow waitress
Ask a fellow waitress

AHHHHH Big Booty

I exercised to 8 min. abs and 8 min. buns two days ago, and my ass is a-hurtin'. It's so old school, but I guess it gets the job done. If only the could come out with a 7 min. abs.

Also, who the hell watches the Gastineau Girls, besides me this one time at 8 a.m. I think they are shallow and clueless and E! is doing a great job at making them look like idiots. Lisa, the mother, referred to herself as an actor. She also makes me think of one of those moms who tries to compete and act like their high school daughter. Honey, just because you are on a reality TV show, makes you nowhere near an actor. Love, Jimbo.


Nothing is what it seems

Every night I have new dreams. Dreams that I thought once made sense. Now, they have gotten away from me. Maybe I'm having someone else's dreams, I'm not really sure. I had one the other night with Jamie in it.
It goes like this: Her and I are in my living room. She says, "I have something to tell you that I've never told anyone before." "OK, well what is it?" I say. Just then, Babe (Jamie) drops her pants to reveal she has a penis. I about die. The only thing I can think of at the time is if this makes her boyfriend, Michael, gay or not. That same night I also had dreams of people who lived in caves wearing yellow jump suits, much like the ones Uma Therman wore in Kill Bill.