pee cup

So today I had to take a drug test for the new job. I always get nervous about this, because last time I took a test like this is ended messy. The last urine test I took was for First National and I was nervous I wouldn't piss enough in the cup. I go in, do my thing. In the middle of my thing I notice the pee isn't really filling the cup up. Before I know it, my hands are soaked in my own urine due to a crack being on the bottom of the cup. I call for the nurse, but then realize my pants are down. It was a hot mess.

So today, I actually had to pee for several hours, but wanted to hold it in case I couldn't go again. I get there, the guy takes his sweet time talking on the phone as I'm about to wet myself. I finally go. After inspecting the cup for defaults, I go. While I'm going my guy goes cock-eyed and hits the rim of the cup. Piss goes everywhere - the floor, me, the toilet. Of course it had to get on me, like I pissed myself. I thought to myself, I will never see this guy again, so I don't care if my pants are wet. So I hid the best I could and left immediately.

Let's pray I don't need to go back in in case they lost my sample.


peace the f out

Peace out First National, for I have gone on to bigger and better things. This is, of course, if I pass my background check and drug test. After applying to at least 10 positions within First National, and only getting interviewed for one, I applied at First Data. I had two interviews for two different positions, and I got the later of the two. I don't know my exact start date, but I assume it may be in the middle of April. This means I will have a week or so of free time - who wants to do lunch?!

Many of you probably have no clue why I am so excited. Let me give you a list of reasons:
-More money
-No Mexicans
-No smelly Mexicans
-No coke nails
-No people who can't speak English or fill out deposit slips
-No bitchy people or women with beards
-No one asking for the new quarters or dollar coin
-No more lines wrapping out of the door
-Normal working hours...NO WEEKENDS!
-Management who doesn't speak broken English
-Picnics with Dennis (best reason of all)
-Unblocked websites (Dlisted, PostSecret, SomeECards, Perez)
-The idea I can actually move out of my mom's house

These are just a few out of the many reasons, but you get the idea. I just find that it's shit that a company can say they want you to move up and grow, but this didn't happen with me. Banks view the teller line as the bottom of the barrel within itself. The truth is, they are the front line to that bank and if you treat them like shit, they'll in turn have poor customer service, which is what I was heading to. So, this said - goodbye.


birthday boy

To my guy on his birthday - Happy Birthday!!!!

And please come home now, because I'm so over you being gone.

Love you. Miss You.

I apologize if this is more of a photo collage of us and not him on his special day, but you don't know me! Plus, I don't have any of him in a party hat.



i have a charm point
you flash
you jangle
i have a charm point
that's always been next to me

i have a charm point
and you left for tokyo

off to tokyo
with image
and respect
off to toyko
without me
but next to the ex

i don't mind
i haven't anything to fret
i still think about you charm
every second of the day

so bow
talk monotone
but i'll be here
with my head raised
speaking out of key
loud and obnoxious
full of sugar
that sweet sugar
keep your kisses for me
only me

when you get home
you'll be smothered
with hugs
and cuddle bugs
with a boy who doesn't bow
or talk below the clouds

i miss my charm point
you flew off to tokyo
i miss my charm point
i miss you so