and i learn

Jackie’s Strength is really... I was asked to get married, right? And um I was quite nervous because I never thought I’d get married before. It just wasn’t something that I was gonna do. Even though I believe in monogamy, just having the church and state condone my union wasn’t important to me. And in fact, I really didn’t want that. So, when he asked me, it brought up, obviously, a lot of things. And I started going back in my little movie in my head, different moments of my life. And I remember my mother telling me that the day Kennedy died, John F. Kennedy, that she put me down, she had to lay me down because her heart started to slow down and she couldn’t breathe. And um, all she thought of was Jackie and the strength that it would take Jackie to lead the nation.. which she did. And I really knew that I was gonna need some kind of strength because I’m made up of like two personalities. There’s one side of me that could very easily have ended up at the 7-Eleven sitting outside drinking a Slurpee in my wedding dress and just missing the whole thing. And then there’s the other one that did make it to the church. So, this song is about the one that drank the Slurpee. She’s still out there somewhere.

Tori Amos
VH1 Storytellers - October 24, 1998

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Yesterday a friend got married. She was beautiful. Her dress, her hair, her crown - everything. It was also the first time Mollie and I had met Paul, her new husband. We usually like to drill the guy to see if he's worthy, and as far as I can see, he is.

Becky Fisher is a wonderful friend. I've known her for about five years and loved her every minute. The things I've loved most about her was her faith, confidence and one-liners.

Becky and I often talked about faith and Jesus. She loves him - so do I. Back then I was trying to find my way through faith and I would always admire how strong hers was. I loved the fact she didn't care what others thought of her, or at least she didn't show it. And I also loved the things she would say to me, such as - 'James, I miss you like the ocean misses the shore' or 'I'm as angry as the fiery of a thousand suns.'

We were also married. I'm not sure when it happened. But somewhere along the lines we had a short engagement and a loving marriage. I also had a mistress and a girlfriend which she knew of. While we were leaving her wedding (the real one), she said, 'I'm sorry I'm not your wife anymore.' I replied that I was a little heart-broken, but I would be fine. Because, I think we both knew, in the end, it wouldn't have worked out.