1.06.2007

to whom it may concern

I have had this feeling for some time. The feeling led me to Iowa City first. It was mostly because my dad had passed away and I wanted to get away from everything that reminded me of him. But a year there led me back home to Carter Lake.

This time is much different. I have visited California three times. I fell in love with it when I stepped off the plane. I don’t know if it’s because I am from the Midwest, but I still get excited whenever I see a palm tree or the ocean. There’s something so beautiful about them. It puts me in a strangely good mood. The sun is different there too. It’s warmer. I look outside and the smile that appears on my face doesn’t seem to leave.

Now, palm trees and the ocean are great and all, but there is a man there that I also fell in love with – more so than the ocean I must admit. I have never felt like this about someone before. I know I’m not aged or have very much experience in relationships. But any type of love I thought I had felt from someone or for someone is nothing like this. I don’t even know how to explain it. Everything is perfectly in place. The puzzle pieces fit – there’s no misshaped parts and the picture is creates when it’s finished is beautiful.

There’s been no death in the family. I’m not running from anything or anyone. I am moving to Long Beach. This won’t be like last time where I move back home when things turn to shit. I am in a very different place in my life - a healthy, happy place.

This said raises concerns for friends and family. Many of my friends are very supportive for my decisions. Some are very indifferent about things. They have yet to meet Asleep and I can understand their concerns. In past relationships I’ve wanted my friends to meet the guy – to judge him and find his downfalls. With Asleep it’s different. There may be judging and such, but I’m not bringing him to them to pass judgment. It’s on a more mature level.

There’s also concern to some of what happens when we break up or things go bad. Well, I’m not a fortune-teller and can’t tell what will or won’t happen. But the thing is – I’m not worried about those things. Mollie said it best when she said, ‘You don’t show a pregnant woman a picture of a handicapped baby and say ‘this could happen to you.’’ He and I have a mutual understanding of what e will be and how we will love one another.

I’m not scared of my decision to move. I’m not leaving my life here. I’m not leaving my family. That’s the good thing about them – they don’t leave you, they will always be there for me. And family and friends are always a flight away.

I will drive to my new home at the end of February. Now you have a reason to visit the west coast. Thank you to those who don’t find me too crazy for my reasoning. To those who think I am out of my mind or say negative things, I love you too, but stop being a Debbie Downer, I’ve always been supportive of you.

9 comments:

nancy said...

you are living my brother's dream..... well not to fall in love with a man... um, right michael? but to pack up and live somewhere fun. you and asleep's messages remind me of matt and i and our notebook from days long ago. i love it.

Asleep said...

i cant wait to drive through every state singing road trip songs and making cool road trip videos...
can i bring my tambourine?

jimmy... i wish there was something i could say or do to ease their minds. i can say that you have abundantly filled my life with happiness, such that I have not known in all of my life.

Anonymous said...

Asleep speaks nothing but truths always! I've known him for some time and his eyes have never sparkled with such fierce passion for life until one sir Jimmy came along. Thank you for ignighting sleepy heads soul! I'm so happy for the both of you and proud all the same!

(Early) Welcome to the neighborhood bruddah!

- Fish

Ashley said...

Jimmy,

Like I will always say "You always gotta do things once." I left the midwest with no money, no job, and not knowing what the future will hold. You are still young and have plenty of oppourtunities to come. Think of everything in life as a story, and this will be a great one to tell in the future. And if it helps, you have inspired me to stop waiting for what will truly make me happy and go make it happen. I don't think you are crazy, I think that Asleep is amazing, and I hope that you fill his life with the happiness that you have filled mine with for the last few years. So take the bull by the horns, leave things in the duct, and remember that home is something that you can always come back to. It always invites you in with open arms.

Anonymous said...

JIMBO! I am so happy for you. If this is what you want to do, then do it! There is no better time than the present. You will learn so much about yourself and your relationship when you are out there and will build a life long experience that you won't ever regret. Don't forget to email me your new address and information. I travel to California a lot with the teams I work with so there will be an opportunity for me and you to meet again, just in some place warmer! I love you! Kristin

Robert P.(pepper) said...

JIMMY!!! well from someone who has only known you an extremely short amount of time...i can honestly say, after reading your letter, that you are not only making an amazing decision you are making a great one. Congratulations on your decision. Alot of people are faced with the exact same decision and choose not to take it. You are taking that opportunity and making the most of whatever may come. Being from L.A. and being raised in LONG BEACH....you are gonna love it. And as far as passing judement onto your new love...does it really matter what other people think? Are they the ones in the DRivers seat? or are they the backseat drivers?!!! hold on it gonna be alot of ups and downs...but mainly its gonna be all PART OF LIFE!! LEARN from what LIFE is about to teach you!!!!!! good luck buddy

molly said...

i think your crazy...but i'd think you were even crazier if you didn't do this.

go...be in love...give the rest of us hope that fairy tales exist.

Danelle the Photographer said...

i heart you my internet husband. i got another husband now and he can take care of me for a while...you can have me back when you come home or i sneak out to visit. hugs. ps i miss you already...

Katie said...

I will miss you...desperately. Our weekday lunches. Our art show and concert ventures. Dinners with you and Molly. All of our theme parties.

But I'm happy for you. And proud of you. I will visit.