anxiety (hard to wait)

i don't know what it is
maybe it was the fog this morning
-which i love
maybe it's the lack of sunshine
outside
in my life
maybe it's the rushing of events
of things
of words
waiting for things to come

i've never been any good
at waiting patiently for something
i want it right now
how do you learn something like that?
can it be taught?
or is it something you acquire with age?

i have lots of questions for feelings like these
and i've been having overwhelming feelings
maybe it's the soundtrack that plays
or my mind racing
of thoughts
of him
(i love thinking of him-
i do it often)
and having to wait
but while i wait
nothing is on pause
i don't recall anything ever being paused

i think part of this anxiety
might be my career
it isn't bad
but i feel lazy
i like feeling lazy
but not in this way

i've been having a lot of those moments
lately
where you are driving
or walking
or sitting
talking
to yourself
or with a friend
where you just know
of a perfect song
that should be inserted
into the background
because it's right
so, since there is no boom box in the sky
it plays in your head
or maybe just parts
or a verse or two
wouldn't that be nice if there was a giant boom box in the sky?
but until there is
all you can do is wait

------------------------

show your light to the real world
they can´t see, thay can´t see
show your heart to the whole world
let them know, let them know

after all we´re only looking for a light
just someone to hold us close
after all we´re only looking for a love
just something to make it right

show a smile if you´re lonely
don´t break your heart, don´t break your heart
just find something to believe in
and hold it tight, hold it tight

after all we´re only looking for a life
just someone to hold us close
after all we´re only looking for a love
just something to make it right

After All - Mojave 3