runner no. 911

I had my first official race on Monday. This was the 5 Mile Boys Town Memorial Day Run. I wasn't prepared for it but Dennis said we'd do ok. I'd like to say, he was good and I made it through. I was happy I ran the entire race, if you consider running so slow a turtle could pass you running. Below is my ranking - I did mediocre for overall placing but my age division sucks balls.

Name: JIMMY FERRIN
Distance: 5M
Time: 46:28
Pace: 9:18
Overall Place: 596 of 1190
Place in Gender: 397 of 597
Division M25-29 Place: 49 of 74

One thing I hated was the end of the race where everyone cheers for you. I was happy it was almost over, but all the people gave me anxiety - and I thought I was going to vomit. I thought I might die if I make it to the finish line and throw up my protein bar as they take my time.

it glows in the dark

This past weekend Dennis and I went to Chicago to see Kanye West's Glow In The Dark tour. I'll write more about the trip later, but wanted to say a few words about the show first.

The crowd was eclectic - white boys who thought they were the bomb, girls in dresses so short I swear I saw crotch, the black guys with bling, and the queers. We missed Lupe Fiasco, which I'm not heartbroken by. NERD was better than their Omaha performance a couple months ago, but maybe that was because of the looming pot smoke. Rihanna was awesome. She came out in a crazy black dress singing my favorite song off her new album, Breakin Dishes. She also sang the popular ones - SOS and a rock version of Umbrella.

I was expecting Kanye to be amazing. Mind-blowing. Out of the world! But, I didn't get what I expected. Maybe it's the fact I don't care for people who have large egos and are full of shit. Someone who loves them self so much that they are the only one on stage for the entire performance and who refer to themselves as the biggest star in the universe. Molly tells me I live in unicorn land at times. For Kanye, I think he has permanent residence. This is not to say I didn't enjoy myself. I can't say I'm a huge Kanye fan, but I did like some of the songs I knew - I Wonder, Stronger, Gold Digger and a few others. I just wish he would be a little more humble at times.

The time spent after the concert was Dennis and I figuring out for an hour and a half that no cabs came near the United center and taking a bus to the Loop and catching the Red line, almost pissing our pants and getting a cab back home. It was our own glow in the dark, space adventure in the city.

interesting cocktail

Over the weekend a new cocktail was invented. This was too far out there to have been mixed before.

Ingredients include: apple vodka, coke, orange juice, cherry pop rocks, and one tea bag.

The coke turns it a brownish color, while the orange juice and pop rocks make it very flavorful. You'd be surprised by its taste and it will leave you wanting more.

You can also follow this drink by your shot of choice and pop rocks. It's quite tasty.

go me!

Yesterday Dennis and I ran the larger portion of Lake Zorinksky. I've never been able to run the whole way through until last evening. To give you background on my issues with running, they are as follow: my head gets a lot of pressure built up that it feels like it could explode, it feels like someone is pulling down on my collarbone, I produce a large amount of saliva when I run.

Usually I stop one or two times in the five mile trek, but yesterday I went the whole way. Go me! I hugged Dennis because I felt like I accomplished something great. In my eyes, I did. Now, who wants ice cream?

open book

i know you won’t keep me in the dark
missing pages in your open book
i find
under kisses
around hugs
in lips
temperature changes
as the wind blows
through the branches
of a naked tree
under your kisses
around your hugs
in your lips
are your missing pages
that i fail to see

photo by jk

mom

Sunday was a good day, Mother's Day. I don't see my mom much anymore, but I think of her everyday. She was happy to see we made her dinner and sangria. The lasagna was good, but I needed to improve my recipe of the sangria. I will let you know how that comes along. The kids are getting so big and so smart. Ellerie is reading books by herself. Gavin has discovered an online game where you can buy and sell stuff for your room (much like The Sims). And Garrett is talking non-stop and is really developing his own self.

For Mother's Day, I treated my mom and Dawn to two hours at Serenity Day Spa. It was a present I would love for myself, but I know they need it much more than me. It was nice to have Dennis there as well, his family doesn't really celebrate this day so he came with. The kids adore him and he gets them into trouble with using words such as poopey.

I think Mother's need more than just a day, at least my mom does. She is such an amazing, loving, caring, understanding woman. One I would never exchange for another. I couldn't ask for a better Mother.

Thank you mom.

mary #1

mary
i’m not ready for the waves
keep them there
by the sand
in your hair
with sea breeze care

mary
let me be
i can’t trek rock
i’ll skin my knees
keep the shells
and all her bells

mary
dust me off
let things slide
put me back in the hive
with the queen
and the honey
where things are slow

dream on

The past few nights I've had uncountable dreams. Some good. Some bad. Most are random, but I think every dream has a purpose - what that purpose is, we usually never understand. Two nights ago I had nightmares that would wake me every hour or so. Last night I had dreams that would wake me, but these were more energy-enduced. I felt as if I was doing so much in my dream that I would wake from sleep. One thing that sticks out from my dream last night was jellyfish. I can't recall ever dreaming of these squishy creatures. I find them fascinating, but they don't really hold much value in my life. In the dream they were in the ocean, two of them, and about 10 that were on the shore dead. There was a small boy in the water near them and I called him in so he wouldn't get stung. Now, these were crazy looking jellyfish - they seem to spit at me, have fangs and spit at me. I noticed that when I woke up from it, I was upset. Anyways, wondering what this meant, I looked them up...

Jellyfish
To see a jellyfish in your dream, represents painful memories that is emerging from your unconscious. There may be hidden hostility or aggression in some aspect of your waking relationship or situation. Alternatively, it may indicate feelings of inadequacy and a lack of self-esteem. Perhaps there is some situation in which you are unable to assert yourself.

I've never thought of myself having low self-esteem or any of that mess. But lately I've realized, I don't have many qualities that I find to be amazing or spectacular. I don't have any special talents or gifts. I'm not trying to say woe is me, but I want to find my passion or my something in this life that I can do extraordinary. Maybe soon it will come. Until then, maybe I'll just keep dreaming of jellyfish.

ballerina

Last weekend was Ellerie's first ballet showcase. It was a short set that was very cute. They were dressed as butterflies.

After the show, a girl from Ellerie's team (do they call them teams?) copped an ego. 'Look Ellerie, I was so good I got two things of flowers.'

Dennis and I told her that she was not only prettier than the girl, but her flowers were better as well.

pee cup

So today I had to take a drug test for the new job. I always get nervous about this, because last time I took a test like this is ended messy. The last urine test I took was for First National and I was nervous I wouldn't piss enough in the cup. I go in, do my thing. In the middle of my thing I notice the pee isn't really filling the cup up. Before I know it, my hands are soaked in my own urine due to a crack being on the bottom of the cup. I call for the nurse, but then realize my pants are down. It was a hot mess.

So today, I actually had to pee for several hours, but wanted to hold it in case I couldn't go again. I get there, the guy takes his sweet time talking on the phone as I'm about to wet myself. I finally go. After inspecting the cup for defaults, I go. While I'm going my guy goes cock-eyed and hits the rim of the cup. Piss goes everywhere - the floor, me, the toilet. Of course it had to get on me, like I pissed myself. I thought to myself, I will never see this guy again, so I don't care if my pants are wet. So I hid the best I could and left immediately.

Let's pray I don't need to go back in in case they lost my sample.

peace the f out

Peace out First National, for I have gone on to bigger and better things. This is, of course, if I pass my background check and drug test. After applying to at least 10 positions within First National, and only getting interviewed for one, I applied at First Data. I had two interviews for two different positions, and I got the later of the two. I don't know my exact start date, but I assume it may be in the middle of April. This means I will have a week or so of free time - who wants to do lunch?!

Many of you probably have no clue why I am so excited. Let me give you a list of reasons:
-More money
-No Mexicans
-No smelly Mexicans
-No coke nails
-No people who can't speak English or fill out deposit slips
-No bitchy people or women with beards
-No one asking for the new quarters or dollar coin
-No more lines wrapping out of the door
-Normal working hours...NO WEEKENDS!
-Management who doesn't speak broken English
-Picnics with Dennis (best reason of all)
-Unblocked websites (Dlisted, PostSecret, SomeECards, Perez)
-The idea I can actually move out of my mom's house

These are just a few out of the many reasons, but you get the idea. I just find that it's shit that a company can say they want you to move up and grow, but this didn't happen with me. Banks view the teller line as the bottom of the barrel within itself. The truth is, they are the front line to that bank and if you treat them like shit, they'll in turn have poor customer service, which is what I was heading to. So, this said - goodbye.

birthday boy

To my guy on his birthday - Happy Birthday!!!!

And please come home now, because I'm so over you being gone.

Love you. Miss You.






I apologize if this is more of a photo collage of us and not him on his special day, but you don't know me! Plus, I don't have any of him in a party hat.

charm

i have a charm point
you flash
you jangle
i have a charm point
that's always been next to me

i have a charm point
and you left for tokyo

off to tokyo
with image
and respect
off to toyko
without me
but next to the ex

i don't mind
i haven't anything to fret
i still think about you charm
every second of the day

so bow
talk monotone
but i'll be here
with my head raised
speaking out of key
loud and obnoxious
full of sugar
that sweet sugar
keep your kisses for me
only me

when you get home
you'll be smothered
with hugs
and cuddle bugs
with a boy who doesn't bow
or talk below the clouds

i miss my charm point
you flew off to tokyo
i miss my charm point
i miss you so

and i ran

Such another good weekend. Last night Dennis and I grabbed Hiro take-out and ate at Amy's. It's just as good, and you don't have to wait forever to get a table. We saw Vantage Point that evening as well, you should definitely go see it.

Today was a run day. Fun-day, run-day. Dawn, Dennis and I ran the entire lake. Well, we talked twice, but I'd say that isn't bad. It totals about to seven miles. I thought I was going to die near the end of it, but Dennis didn't seemed phased at all. Lucky bastard. I tell myself it's because I don't run very often, which I think may be the case. I am working my way up to the half marathon. Here I come!

After the run and somewhere soon after me falling to the floor, we made sushi. I've never made it before so it was prety good times. We used the following ingredients: crab, smoked salmon, cucumbers, avacado (this was just for me), carrots, thai chips, sausage, snow peas, and lunch meat. I know some of those things sound like a crack head's sushi roll, but they were delicious. And we made enough to feed Tokyo. No seriously, the plate weighed at least five pounds.




Now the weekend is over. My horoscope said that there were will some bad ass things happening on the 28th & 29th that will involve some exploring. Now, I don't think that could be bad at all.

birthday girl

Friday night was Quinn's birthday. Let's just say, nothing but good times happened.




Now, sometime after a couple bottles of wine, Jen, Dennis and I were in some side bedroom. I took my shirt off, then she insisted she show us the attic. She told us no one knew about it and hinted we should stay up there. We did....and so, we came back to the party and everything was a little confusing. I think I needed sleep - and I think I was still wondering why we were in an attic. This last picture has to be after that, because I'm not sure why Dennis is drinking from the bottle and I am getting naked. Anyways, cheers Quinn.

asian say what?

Today has been a good day. I had an interview that I think went pretty well (but I'm still crossing my fingers) and I had lunch with Dennis. We dominated hamburgers and he had an edrink with his meal, which I find to be a little odd. Afterwards we went to the Asian store to pick up things to make sushi. While we were there I found some items to be hilarious...

Oysters as large as a small child...MMM


This looks like something you would feed your dog.


So funny - this snack reads: How delicious it can not forget, special taste, return the ture flavour. Give you the infinite feeling.

Ok, I have something to say about this: A) I was so confused what ture was. Dennis told me it was supposed to be true. B) What is this infinite feeling I'm getting from this?! Whatever it is, I hope it's good.


I saved the best for last. True, his label doesn't read anything humourous, but he does say things that make me laugh.


While standing in line he asked what I wanted in my sushi. I said there has to be avocados in it. And then I asked if we will put salmon in it. He said no. I was informed of the turkey bacon-potato chip-deli meat roll. Doesn't it sound...interesting? Oh, those crazy Asians.

sia (tunes)

I really enjoy this girl. Especially tonight.


Day Too Soon

honey i will stitch you
darling i will fit you in my heart
honey i will meet you
darling i will keep you in my heart


Gimme More (way better than the train wreck)

lazy

I told Dennis he was my new trainer at the gym. He kept asking me what I wanted to do or work on. I said, just as long as I have muscles like you, I don't really care.

"Do you like to do pull-ups?"
"Ummmm...does anybody?"

I know you can imagine I didn't do very many pull-ups. I think they're the devil's work. To top it off my body twitched in weird places when I gave my attempts. I will definately be working on that workout in the future.

Another thing I hate is a lot of people there. I am not very self-conscious, but I feel like an idiot doing certain things in front of people. I am weak in the strength sense, maybe that's what I am uncomfortable about. I haven't figured it out, but whatever it is, I'm sure it'll go away - or at least I hope it does.

I hope he lights the fire under my ass more to work on my fitness, just because I'm so lazy.

be my valentine

I got bamboo, from someone very awesome.

"Flowers die, so i got something new..."

I like the idea of bamboo, it lasts longer than flowers for one. And another thing, I got them at work and people were jealous I got something first.

Here's to the new romance. And many more bamboo.

it slipped past

it slipped passed, dad
sorry
my heads been floating in the clouds
rolling on the ground
so much in the past year
the ocean and back
among other things
ill see you in the car ride
to and from everywhere
sorry it slipped
six years.