some days

some days suck. for many reasons. like today.

baker baker can you explain
if truly his heart was made of icing
and i wonder how mine could taste
maybe we could change his mind

i know you're late for your next parade
you came to make sure that i'm not running
well i ran from him in all kinds of ways
guess it was his turn this time

time
thought i'd make friends with time
thought we'd be flying
maybe not this time

pricy m's

Amy and I went to see The Proposal yesterday. Before the film we decided we needed something sweet. Hollywood Candy was on the way so we stopped in. I saw they had M & M's sorted by color - not just regular everyday colors, but vibrant blues, greens and oranges (the three colors I chose). I got just under one pound of them and found my way to the checkout. $16 later, I decided that Hollywood Candy's M & M's are outrageously priced. But, they sure are purdy.

the professor

Loving is fine if you have plenty of time
For walking on stilts at the edge of your mind

dog breath

So it begins, again. The horrid heat of summer. I don't know if you can call it heat, it's more like sun temperatures, white hot. So humid you could cut the air with a knife. Thank Jebus for my morning iced coffee (1 inch nonfat milk, no ice, please) from whatever coffee shop I'm closest to. Although, Crane doesn't seem to understand the concept of iced coffee and looks at me in a stupor when I request it.

I need pool time, very soon, with cocktail in hand. I like the heat, but humidity makes me feel like I'm in the jungle. Even Pee Man is tired of it. I went for a run around the lake yesterday and it felt like I was breathing in oven air. Dog breath I say!

On a different note, we will be walking in the Carter Lake Parade for JDRF and I have a wedding on Saturday. I would enjoy wearing the blue linen suit that is available at Banana, but I believe I would only wear it once. Such is life.

Also on a second note, I need to gather people for a house warming of sorts. Keep your eyes open for details.

stressin'

Not many things get to me and start stressing me out. Lately, I've been having a strange sensation that I think some would call stress.

Money - why do I have to pay all my own bills - rent, car, utilities. I want to go back to where I was footloose and fancy free.

Work - Never has work really stressed me out...I'm just learning to go with the flow. As long as I have a job, I must be thankful.

Having a part time job stresses me out. At times I feel like I don't have any evenings or weekends to myself. If I try to request off, I get scheduled anyways. Such is life - it is a part time job, so suck it up.

People - Some people can make me wonder. What goes through the minds - their thoughts? I can't imagine everyone to think like me, or make the same decisions - although, that would be nice.

I need a fix, cause I am going down
down to the pits that I left up town
momma I need a fix

feel good

Everyone should check out my buddy Andy. He just released his album. Congrats man!

what'd you say?

So funny this postcard was on Post Secret this week. For those who don’t know or haven’t heard about my ear trauma, let me fill you in.

About a month ago I woke up with a plugged ear. Being the lazy fella I am, I waited it out a week until I woke up one morning and couldn’t feel the right side of my face and I was in some crazy pain. I go to the doctor, they flush my ear and a large amount of wax came out. Yes, I do use q-tips, but this was so far down nothing could get this mess out. While flushing my ears they threw off my equilibrium, which almost made me fall off the bench and throw up all over the nurse.

A week later I went in for a checkup. I told them my ear was still plugged and a little sore. They look in there and say ‘You need to see an ENT asap.’ Lovely. So they rush me into an ENT doctor before he had surgery. He asked me to lay on a bed and turn my head to the side, I heard an air compressor machine turn on, and then a vacuum in my ear. It felt parts of my brain coming out. I asked if they extracted my unborn twin with tiny teeth and hair, they said no. What did come from my ear was a bloody/mucus ball the size of a pea. Lord knows what was happening in my ear.

10 days after that I go in for another checkup and a hearing test. The hearing scale goes a little something like this – the lower the number the better and young adults are around a 20. My left ear is 10 (go me!) and my right is 35/45. So basically I have the hearing of an 80 year-old. I went upstairs to the doctor and he put a gel patch ‘band-aid’ in my ear. I go for another checkup in three weeks.

Don’t worry, I’ll make this story come full circle. What’s funny to think is, when I was in junior high I thought it would be amazing to be deaf. A kid in school had a hearing aid, which I thought was neat looking, and I thought sign languages was beautiful. Cross your fingers that my hearing loss isn’t permanent.

it started, again

Tori will tour this summer, and so goes my craziness to go to as many shows as possible. This morning Brian and I purchased tickets for San Diego and LA. The frenzy of trying to get the best tickets imaginable is insane, and I always feel like I don't get the best seat in the house - I suppose it could always be worse, right? Either way, it will be magical. Both shows are outdoors, San Deigo is by the harbor.

Also, today is Shelly's birthday. We are going to Hu Hot for lunch and Genji for dinner. Good times, good times.

listen

you better let somebody love you...

oh, those japs!

If you want to play a game where a football player steals your protein shake and you have to bust through walls to get it back, then this is for you. You can play any of the diverse, speedo-wearing muscle men. Hell, you can even play as a polar bear. Aw, I just love the p-bears. That being said, you gotta love the Japs.

sinful sounds

Tori's Abnormally Attracted To Sin comes out today. I had the chance to listen to it the other night...it's amazing - as they all are. Tour dates are coming up, I will be traveling to see her. Across the plains and mountains to San Diego and LA. Down a couple hours to Kansas City. And in the windy city for most likely my last show in Chicago.

You can check out her entire album on her myspace.

just listening

sleepy eyed
flowing to the keys
and the word
keep it playing the whole way through
that's all you have to do, i say

the sun will be up soon
i thought you were my sun
and i was yours
you gotta bring the fuel
bring it, light a match, watch it burn
burned so fast

too fast
so i keep listening
and flowing

pineapple

So much news since the last post. I have a new residence. And, Dennis got me my first 'house warming' present: a pineapple. I couldn't think of anything better. Besides the fact I've never had to cut a pineapple, it looks nice sitting on the counter.

I don't have any photos yet, since I've lost one camera that I have the charger to, and the one camera I have, I can't locate its charger...such is life.

*I got to see Wicked last week with Molly. I loved it and I went in thinking I would dislike it very much. Thank you Molly for date night with two different kinds of cheesecake. My love handles appreciate it.

*Mother's Day - I got my mom and sister new purses. My mother's is a little larger than she is used to. No folks, this is not one of those giant, metallic purses with zippers and gadgets coming out of every seam. It's a nice black nylon with peanut leather lining. We smoked ribs, which I ate for the first time in all my 26 years. I only ate them because they were boneless.

*I've been loving this weather - rain, thunder and gloomy days keep my heart warm.

More to come, I will hopefully have photos of my apartment, or even better, you will have to come see it.

maybe california

mammoth orange

Thank you California for producing such massive, delicious, juicy oranges for my morning breakfast. Also included in breakfast this morning was French pressed iced coffee and lite lemon yogurt, as well as Cat Power's The Greatest.

super cute protesters

Now this is worth having a laugh over.

grateful

This evening my mom took me shopping for my new apartment. She said, 'Well, I suppose I can help you out with things you'll need.' Thanks mom! You rock!

Things purchased for the apartment thus far: pots and pans, ironing board, iron, dented drinking glasses, white and charcoal bath towels, microwave, Kitchen Aid utensils, green striped kitchen rug, orange and green kitchen towels, floor mop/duster thingy - you know the Swifter kind or whatever they're called, toilet brush, containers, glass cutting board, and I'm sure a couple more items that aren't coming to mind.

We took a break from our busy shopping trip and grabbed dinner at Olive Garden. I ate so many bread sticks it was insane. I was good and took more than half of my meal home, because Lord know I can pack it away.

I am so thankful for my mom - she has done so much for me throughout the years and continues to be supportive in any situation. She's seriously the coolest mom ever, hands down.

welcome to england

you better bring your own sun, sweet girl

loving love

Miss Love –

I’ll never forget our talks. You were always telling me I need to be ‘getting’ some sugar from all the men.’

You even tried to set me up with some 40 something year-old with a jaguar.
‘Nat, I don’t want some old man!’
‘But honey, he has a fly car!’

I would then ask you about all your men. You kept them close to your chest, and pretended to play them like a deck of cards.

You always made me laugh when you told stories or 'talked' about people. 'Girrrrl, she is tore up!' And I would agree.

Your style, your grace, you had a halo of light around you. I always thought of you as an angel being so perfect. Now you are an angel, so perfect.

We will miss you Nat.

new chapter

I searched for my first apartment ever last week. I called one person and looked at two different places. I picked the second and was approved. The girl who lives there currently is selling her washer and dryer for $100 and they are only two years old. She doesn't want to move them, I wouldn't either.

I move in the 20th of April. I am excited because I've never had to do this myself. I am sad because of a relationship ending. I am scared that I will actually be responsible for myself - something I've never had to worry about.

The good things that come out of this are: I will be living next to Amy, there are lots of trees around me, I am close to downtown, Amy and I will dominate the patio in between our apartments, and I'm closer to my family by just a little.