In the heart of cheese country...

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It's ok.

good day

As long as we laugh out loud
Laugh like we're mad
Cause this crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have
Because what's love but an itch we can't scratch, a joke we can't catch
God, but still we laugh

take me back

I fell in love. I always fall in love, every five seconds with something, or someone, but it usually goes away after the next five. But the love i fell for is California. Palm trees, the ocean, sand, beautiful sun. I had no idea the beauty this land held. Being there for only a short time, I have this strong urge to move. We shall see.

Long Beach.

Asleep. A magic man of sorts. He moves like the current. Has incredible spirit and energy. And has a never-ending creative juice that comes in the form of paintings, music and (short) films. (Go to youtube.com and search for 'xxxasleep'). He treated me to a wonderful time in Long Beach, among other things. He also isn't afraid to put away an 8,000 calorie meal. My kinda guy.

Sandy.

Sandra.

Lovers. Sand lovers. Drawn together just as quickly as the tide separated them.

sleeps with butterflies

Over the fourth of July holiday, Aunt Karen got a wild hair up her ass and decided to go downtown to get a tattoo her, my mom and aunts have been talking about getting. They were booked and made her get an appointment. This past Friday is when the ink was drawn and bonds were created.

My mom thought it was a horrible pain, but she held strong. It can't be worse than child birth, right?

After the pain he inflicted, she still posed for a snap.


The end result. At first I didn't know what to think of my mom with a tattoo. But I am happy at the outcome.

The whole idea of butterflies goes back to my Grandma Dorothy. She collected them, and when she passed away, my mom and aunts got most of the butterfly knicknacks that have collected on the shelves. It was the five year anniversary of her death and through the years they have exchanged butterflies in all forms.

naughty bits

You know how everyone talks about dreaming going to school naked, well, my dream last night was similar. I took it a step further than going to school, or driving naked.

It was some sort of holiday, in the summer. A parade was about to begin. Millions of people, well, enough to fill Carter Lake. The floats had started moving, the band playing, and me getting ready to march.

My family was there, sitting on picnic tables. My mom asks, "what are you doing?" in a calm voice. I don't remember saying anything.

I marched along Jenny (from the GAP, not the block). As I started walking with the parade, off came my shirt, then my shoes, next my pants. My underwear was the last thing off. I walked proudly, birthday suit.

"What are you doing? I didn't dare you for $5!" I remember Mollie exclaiming.

I wasn't embarassed. I don't think I would be in real life either. But, that won't happen...maybe some day at Mardi Gras.

The Parade ended. I don't remember putting my clothes back on.

someone is on her way

bounce

Dawn and Todd have purchased a trampoline in the past two weeks. I forgot how fun these were, and how dangerous.

Ellerie asked me to jump with her, not knowing how accident-prone I was. I did a wonderful job. Jan on the other hand, did much better than I.

While jumping, Carter Lake's Ding-Ding Man drove down our street. All summer you can hear the bell dings in the distance and know a child, somewhere, is enjoying a Bomb Pop.

What these children don't know is that this man who supplies them with ice cream, also supplies addicts with meth. Country.

captain jimbo

Pirates of the Caribbean II. It was amazing and makes my love for pirates grow deeper.

"They look like Pirates from here"
Boy I've been one for years
just keeping my head
-Snow Cherries From France

can't stop what's coming

“It’s a real challenge, allowing myself to not have any kind of subject limits [this time] because I was trying to protect my child,” she said of her new album. “But that’s not the only reason I’ve written what I’ve written and done what I’ve done the last five years. Now that I’ve addressed things coming from the mother, the minister’s daughter and a sexual creature, it’s time to do something else energetically. I’m not quite sure how to put it in words yet and I think it’s better to let the music speak for itself.”

-Tori Amos on her upcoming album.

hear those bells

Congratulations to two wonderful people who are madly in love, Danelle and Mr. Joel.

my song

I am not really a huge fan of this song. But maybe I should be since this is my 2006 summer anthem.

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield "No one else, no one else Can speak the words on your lips Drench yourself in words unspoken Live your life with arms wide open Today is where your book begins"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

cities

American Cities That Best Fit You:

70% San Francisco

60% Chicago

60% Philadelphia

55% Honolulu

55% Los Angeles

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Lil Kim - Ladies Night

cruel

Is it bad to try and not care about certain things? Bad in the fact it means a lot to someone else, but you know, for your own sake, and sanity, to put it aside and let it fall waist-side where it will dangle, loosen and fall. I feel cruel. I don't know why. Patches and stitches won't work on this one, not this time. I feel cruel, because I've been there before. It was hell, but I did survive (as most usually do). It's a continuous war on the inside, against yourself. I feel cruel for feeling the things I've felt. Knowing I couldn't help it, this is my war on the inside. I still fight it from day to day. Time will heal that war and the inside. And time will also patch and stitch. Just give it time.

happiness

She feels at home on the range; ear-protectors in position, man-shaped paper target up and waiting for her.

She imagines, a little, she remembers, a little and she sights and squeezes and as her time on the range begins she feels rather than sees the head and the heart obliterate. The smell of cordite always makes her think of the fourth of July.

You use the gifts God gave you. That was what her mother had said, which makes their falling out even harder, somehow.

Nobody will ever hurt her. She'll just make her faint vague wonderful smile and walk away.

It's not about the money. It's never about the money.
------------------------------------------------------------------
This picture, and song, always reminds me of the 4th. May beautiful explosions remind you of freedom - and happiness fill your heart full.

three

To one of my favorite guys on his birthday (well, it's five minutes past his birthday day). A boy who knows how to rock the flippers and goggles when there's no pools around.

And as well as tapping the keg on his uncle's pirate party. Happy birthday bud.

strange

strange
Thought I knew you well
Thought I had read the sky
Thought I had read a change
in your eyes
so strange
Woke up to a world
that I am not a part
except when I can play
its stranger

After all
what were you really
looking for
and I wonder
when will I learn
Blue isn't red
everybody knows this
and I wonder
when will I learn
when will I learn
guess I was in Deeper than
I thought I was
if I have enough love
for the both of us

"just stay" you said
"we'll build a nest"
so I left my Life
Tried on your friends
Tried on your opinions
So when the Bridges froze
and you did not come home
I put our snowflake under a microscope

After all
what was I really
looking for
and I wonder
when will I learn
Maybe my wish
knew better
than I did
and I wonder
when will I learn
when will I learn
guess I was in Deeper than
I thought I was
if I have enough love
for the both of us

so strange
now I'm finally in
the Party has begun
it's not like I can't
feel you still
but strange
what I will leave behind
you call me one more time
but now I must be leaving

thank heaven for little girls

Ellerie: Grandma, who is driving?

Jan: Your mom is driving.

Ellerie: Why isn't daddy driving?

Jan: Because he drank beer.

Ellerie: Well, it's good I'm not driving, because I drank a lot!

Jan: You drank beer?

Ellerie: No silly, I don't drink beer.

see you later alligator

Wine is much better when drank through a straw...or, not. But for Hollie it worked wonders.


I think his name was Joe, but I know his last name is Johnson. Who awed us with his performance of Billy Joel's Piano Man. We also requested Gold Digger, All Through the Night and Livin' On A Prayer. He didn't know those.


Doggy pile on Jimmy. You think this would hurt, but not so much. There is another of Wendy trying to have intercourse with TJ sideways, but I decided not to add that one in.

All in all it was a pretty nice evening. With sad hearts we say 'see you' (never goodbye). Hug, wave, then walk away.

my old resume

TJ informed me I was a mortician in my past life. Maybe in the early 40s, he isn't quite sure.

I would have never thought in all my past lives (which are few) that I would have had such a profession. A little spooky, I say.

shake my groove thing

A couple of us shaking our booties at Katy Short's birthday bash. Club Patricks is the place to go for all your hetero wants and needs.

well, well

Well, well, what do I say
I've never seen a bad day look quite this way
And well, well, what do I do
When all of my thoughts run right back to you
Looks like I meant to speak with logic,
but hon', the carnal always gets in the way
Well well, this fire was more funner than proper grammar anyway

I say what I mean but I don't mean what I say
Well, well, it's fine out today

I say what I mean but I don't mean what I say
Well, well, it's fine out

Then you get to the part where your heart just wants to die
Then you get to the part where your heart screams it just sighs
Then you get to the part where your heart knows it's a crime
So it flies like a bird, it's heard, it's heard, it's heard the word

all good things (come to an end)

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5I3ITQSA

Traveling I always stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

This is an unreleased version of all good things (come to an end) with coldplay's Chris Martin. It is amazingly beautiful. (thanks to perez for pointing this out).

how big? soooo big!

To dickey, hope you have an amazing 22nd birthday. I know it is depressing, but such is life. We only get better with time.

go baby go go

interesting.

http://www.bryanboy.com/

my cocaine

Ginger Altoids. The curiously strong mints have me going back for seconds and thirds. People must think I have really bad breath, but they taste like drops of heaven.

Burt's Bees (new) Honey Lip Balm. The same as their original lip balm, but with an addition of honey. It makes your lips feel like they've been kissed with the softness and sweetness of the golden syrup that comes in a little bear with pointed hat. For those who have no clue what I am talking about...

chasing tornadoes and just waiting, calmly

Last night I had a dream I was in a church, somewhere in France, with about 10 people. I lookd outside, there was a tornado. No sirens went off. I yelled at everyone to make it to shelter and they all ran, but I stayed - because I couldn't move. I saw the tornado lift the roof off like a lid and rip the walls of the church like they were made of paper. The tornado moved in, with me in its way. And then I wake up. Scared. I look at the clock and it's 6:30 A.M. and now I'm mad I woke myself up when I have 45 minutes to sleep in!

--- --- --- --- ---

Here is a meaning to having tornadoes in dreams: To see a tornado in your dream, suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outburst and temeper tantrums, is there a situation or relationship in you life that may be potentially destructive? to dream that you are in a tornado, signifies that you are feeeling overwhelmed and out of control. you will be met with a series of disappointments for the next week or so. your plans will be filled with complications.

It may also symboize a volitale situation or relationship

from center stage to center trailer

The poor thing isn't going to get her career back. And she won't win mother of the year. So where does she belong?


I know of a perfect spot where Mrs. Britney Spears-Federline could fit in. Thomas Jefferson High School. My old stomping ground. Where there were six pregnant girls in my senior class (not counting the pregnant girls in the other grades). She already has the clothes to fit in - the too tight mini skirt, the Deb's tank top with hot pink bra slightly showing. She, my friends, does belong.

Her interview was horrid. Bad make-up. Bad Answers. Bad clothes. Bad lighting. Bad...well, you get the idea. Tori Amos sums it up wonderfully:

Got a blackberry stain
and they're not even in season
if you're not yet a woman
you got no business playing at this
-Tombigbee

never was a cornflake girl

really was a kellogg's girl...

world cup = my new crush

Introducing Freddie Ljunberg. He is my new favorite soccer player...

...And my new crush!


Thank you Calvin Klein for putting this beautiful man in your briefs. I am also sure the Arsenals are thankful for his skills as right flank.

words are like guns

Everyone expected House Republicans to give up efforts to kill NPR and PBS after a massive public outcry stopped them last year. But they've just voted to eliminate funding for NPR and PBS—unbelievably, starting with programs like "Sesame Street."

Public broadcasting would lose nearly a quarter of its federal funding this year. Even worse, all funding would be eliminated in two years--threatening one of the last remaining sources of watchdog journalism.

Sign the petition telling Congress to save NPR and PBS again this year:http://civic.moveon.org/publicbroadcasting/

Last year, millions of us took action to save NPR and PBS, and Congress listened. We can do it again if enough of us sign the petition in time.

This would be the most severe cut in the history of public broadcasting. The Boston Globe reports the cuts "could force the elimination of some popular PBS and NPR programs." NPR's president expects rural public radio stations may be forced to shut down.

The House and Senate are deciding if public broadcasting will survive, and they need to hear from viewers like you.

Sign the petition at:http://civic.moveon.org/publicbroadcasting/


P.S. Read the Boston Globe story on the threat to NPR and PBS at:http://www.moveon.org/r?r=1864

man's man

Last night I got a call from a good friend who's wedding I'm in on Saturday. He informs me that it's his night of a 'bachelor's party.' While I had intentions on taking them to a ladies club, we decided against due to time restrictions. We drank beer. We played pool. Yes, I played pool, and even had one glory shot where two balls went in the hole (or whatever you call it). These two balls happened to be the other teams.

Franz, my friend getting married is Indian. Therefore, I'm very jealous of him and his skin. He moved into the Doubletree because Ann is stressing. Or, her mom is stressing which is making her stressed. However girls work. I was invited back to play poker and drink more beer. I had to take a rain check because I was already half asleep.

The night came to a close. I'm very excited for Saturday. Me in a tux in 93 degree weather will be a sight to see. But most of all Ann, and her more than traditional wedding will be a sight.

you think i'm a queer, said i think you're a queer

Tori is said to start recording for a new album next week. It won't come out until next year, but she says the 'warrior woman' will come out of her and an old side of her will return, let's hope it's this Tori.

the best plaid in town

I had a wonderful pirate party of great people and great food. Cinnamon rolls from Farm House, the size of my head, fill bellies. I do thank everyone for attending.

I had dinner with one of my best gals at our place. She gave me a wonderful present of Burberry cuff-links. They are beautiful. Now they match my tie. Maybe that would be overkill, I haven't decided yet.

Thank you!

neverland

Since I'm not in school anymore I was dropped from my mom's insurance. First sign of adulthood...and this is already not exciting! What's next, a mortgage?

nothing's been the same

After five years of knowing what I've wanted, I got it. Something so little, but has such a large meaning behind it. Loss of loved ones, the ending of chapters and the beginning of new ones is the top layer of it.

Thank you for Mollie for your hand and Wendy for lighting that fire under my ass.

windows of the world

And I'm back. London and Paris were amazing and beautiful. Both magical places that I had always seen through text books and pictures.

As many of you know, cold, rainy weather is my favorite, so London should have been wonderful. The first five days were 65 and sunny. So Katie, Greg and I found ourselves in the middle of gay mecca and it started to rain, I was at home. From then on out it was rainy and cold, thank you Lord.

We also totally nerded out and did a million and one sight seeing adventures. One of my favorites was the London Eye. An enormous wheel of glass eyes to view the surrounding area of the city. We were graced to have Asians our eye with us. They made me not feel so bad for taking pictures of everything - for they take pictures of everything three times.

The one thing I missed most was food. I somehow gained weight, even though I was supposed to be on de-tox because I had eaten so much the week before the trip. We stumbled upon a restaurant called Bella Italia which was wonderful. There, they had the Godfather - the best thing I had eaten in London.

Then Paris. The city of love. Well, I didn't see much of love, but I did see a lot of filth and people in the street. But that aside, they do have wonderful things...

Notre-Dame

Naked statues at the Louvre

Eiffel Tower

After a lovely time in Paris we head back to London where we spend the rest of our trip at Cambridge. We punted, shopped and drank. To go out with a bang I decided to perform a balancing at with my good friend Greg, the Sexican. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped and resulted in a serious rug burn. I like to tell people I got it from a pub brawl. I will definately go back one day, maybe to live, or to see Apple. Whatever takes me I will be sure to bring good friends and more granola bars along the way.

rain can't confuse the thoughts

I am in London, paying for this time, so it will probably be short. I'm sitting in a small London Internet cafe trying to figure out how to load my pictures from my camera to a website (and it;s not going so well). I put the first set of 300 pictures on Daisy, but now they are all erased. I am calling Apple when I get home and ripping them a new one. On a better note, the weather in London has finally taken place. Since the day we got here it has been 60-70 degrees and sunny. If you know me, you know I like it cold and rainy. The parks here are beautiful as are the buildings. I have noticed one thing, no one seems to smile. I smile at them, but get nothing in return.

Yesterday we walked along the Thames going to the Tate Museum. We had out first form of discrimination for being American. We asked for directions and the man told us 'Over there, by the way, are you American?' We replied with a proud Yes. He then says 'Good job in Iraq' Bitch please.

here i come

Well friends, I leave you to have some fun for awhile. But don't worry, I will be back, maybe. I leave at 4 p.m. and come home on the 24th. From Big Ben to the Tower I go, but I'll be home for eye patches and booze - and of course, lots of food.

--- --- --- --- ---

Some people sing about Deutsche girls
and girls from California
they might be alright for a night alright
but don't trust them I warn you
I've been to the east and I've been out west
and I've been the world around
but I ain't seen none come anywhere near
the girls from London town

Give me a london girl every time
I've got to find one
I've made up my mind
Give me a London girl every time
I want a London girl
Marry a girl from London town

you know you can trust her
she'll darn your socks, and wash and mend
you're trousers if ya bust 'em, yes
they're all good cooks
and they got good looks
and they wont lead you a dance
said, I gotta find a London girl
if I get a half a chance

Oh, give me a London girl every time
I've got to find one
I've made up my mind
Give me a London girl every time
I want a London girl

London girls are the best in the world
there ain't no doubt about it
if ya can't find a girl from London town
you're better off a-doin' without it
they don't create when you come home late
and you're crawlin' up the passage floor
and they wont muck about, yes
when you've gone out with the geezer
from the house next door

Oh, give me a London girl every time
I've got to find one
I've made up my mind, I said
honey, give me a london girl, babe
every little time
your legs turn to jelly
and I got a little smelly
but I know it's just what I want
'cause I need a London girl
oh, every time
they've always got a pound
to buy their round
when it's their turn at the bar

finally

Five years to graduate, not bad I'd say. From UNO to Iowa, to UNO again, I had a blast. There were tough times - but the good times and friends I made along the way outweight them. I am very lucky to have the friends I do and the opportunities that will follow. It hasn't really hit me yet, so just wait, I'm sure there will definately be a blog about that one.

I leave for London on Monday. I've never been so I'm so excited about it. After I come home I will be having my Pirate (Graduation) Party, in which everyone is invited. Just make sure you have your eye patch!

The wonderful woman who got me through it all

sexican, darnelle, big daddy, sexy momma

My fabulous present

a sorta fairytale

For the past few years, this song has always haunted me. It'd be one of those songs where if you opened up my soul, you would find her hanging out there.

on my way up north
up on the Ventura
I pulled back the hood
and I was talking to you
and I knew then it would be
a Life Long thing
but I didn't know that we
We could break a silver lining

And I'm so sad
like a good book
I can't put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you

things you said that day
up on the 101
the girl had come undone
I tried to downplay it
with a bet about us
You said that
You'd take it
as long as I could
I could not erase it

And I'm so sad
like a good book
I can't put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you

and I ride along side
and I rode along side
You then
and I rode along side
till you lost me there
in the open road
And I rode along side
till the honey spread
itself so thin
for me to break your bread
for me to take your word
I had to steal it

And I'm so sad
like a good book
I can't put this
Day Back
a sorta fairytale
with you
a sorta fairytale
with you
I could pick back up
whenever I feel

down New Mexico way
something about
the open road
I knew that he was
looking for some Indian Blood and
find a little in you find a little
in me we may be
on this road but
We're just
Imposters
in this country you know

So we go along and we said
we'd fake it
feel better with
Oliver Stone
till I
almost smacked him -
seemed right that night and
I don't know what
takes hold
out there in the
Desert cold
These guys think they must
Try and just get over on us

and I was ridin' by
ridin' along side
for a while till you lost me
and I was ridin' by
ridin' along till you lost me
till you lost
me in
The Rear
View
you lost me
I said

way up North I took my day
all in all was a pretty nice
day and I put the Hood
right back where
You could taste heaven
perfectly
Feel out the summer breeze
didn't know when we'd be back
And I I don't
didn't think
We'd end up like
like this