wall

I’m taking the pieces down
brick by brick
pulling back the overgrown vines
wrapped, coiled, dead

hands dirty
each day it’s crumbling down
my stone fortress will be
gone, destroyed, in ruins

racing to green fields
sun burning bright
your soul warming my light
found, reactivated, changing

thrilling

You know Coco, the woman with the ass rack, who can wear a bikini (or not) like it's a pair of everyday clothing. Well, she wrote her own mystery novel - I say novel loosely.

I'm not sure what this book is about, but I hope it has something to do with a stripper rocking a camel toe in search of a sexy party gone wrong type of murder.

Cheers to you Coco!

Oh, to purchase a copy of Angel, go here.

siamese combat

broken egg shells

cuts on my feet

I've disrupted the filtered balance

and there's no exit by tip toe

quite the battle

Mind and Reason take turns

Unhinged is pulling through

we'll smoke them out

put down your axe

it's not meant for me

siamese combat

never coming out ahead

outracing Fickle

'he isn't you' tattooed on my sleeve

doesn't mean you're not worth the fight

we'll smoke this out

rocket

Can I take a ride on your rocket
take me far from here
I want a ride on your rocket
Shine up your metallic gears
Once you get me on board
We can hustle the universe
Hide out in shadows and galaxies
When we ride on your rocket
We’ll spill your fears
Spread and swirl them like the milky way
Earth is just a blue ball that looks like a tear drop
Just a tear drop that needs a rocket
To take me far from here

seven hours

it's only seven but this smile is fading

it's only seven but I miss the lessons

sand and salt on my mind

spice and marshmallow in my queue

my math is bad

but seven turns to fourteen

and you have a feather problem

with my doubts on board to Antarctica

so until then

'til fourteen turns to zero

you return as my daytime hero

and our electric liquid waves touch

love thy weiner

noisy thoughts

Whirling
Circling
Spinning
Spinning
spinning
My minds computing 1s and 0s
Rows of data melting together
like two hands in a circuit board
if he could only rest his bow
those arrows would be slipping in more gentle
if he could only rest that ring
all that’s molded will ease up
waiting for the noise to settle
waiting for the chaos to quiet
waiting to hear that hum
that white noise hum
hum

i am in your sway

July, July!
Calamity Song
Rox in the Box
Rise to Me
The Soldiering Life
The Bagman’s Gambit
Won’t Want for Love (Margaret In The Taiga)
The Crane Wife 1 & 2
The Crane Wife 3
The Rake’s Song
All Arise!
Down by the Water
This Is Why We Fight
16 Military Wives
–
When U Love Somebody
The Mariner’s Revenge Song
–
June Hymn

This was the first time I had the chance to see The Decemberists live. I have to say this was one of the best shows I've been to. The highlight of the show was The Crane Wife 1 & 2 and 3 and The Mariner's Revenge Song, where they had us scream when the song had us being eaten by a giant whale. The Holland was a great venue to have them at. The sound was amazing - it was like listening to headphones.

The folks at this show were quite an interesting group; Amy and I couldn’t peg a specific demographic. There were lots of people in their 40s who brought their children, the emo kids, the hipsters, the preppies, and even a couple who looked like they'd been hiking in the mountains. Amy pointed out the fella sitting two seats in front of me and how he is my doppelgänger. He had facial hair and the same haircut as I. Strangely, he even pulled at his beard while he sat. At the end of the concert we concluded he is the less fun, sassier version of me. Doppelgänger 0 / Me 1.

Here's to the next show and continuous people watching.

American Gods

There's never been a true war that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous. -Wednesday

I'm not much of a book person, but I do read books from time to time. One book that's always in my head is American Gods. A great story of two sets of Gods getting ready for war. I had thought it would be great to see this as a film, but HBO has picked it up for a series instead! I can only imagine this will be nothing short of amazing. Congrats Neil.

i have dreams

If you’re close to me you know I have strange and intense dreams. They play out like films that I can pause and play back. I can usually recall most of my dreams and will even have the same dream multiple times or pick up where I left off from one. The past few nights have been an intense night of dreams where I wake up basically exhausted from sleeping.

02.27.11
Justin Bieber was driving me around in a yellow Maserati. I believe he was at least 18 at the time and he was talking about how he loved to tour, but he wasn’t happy until he settled down with someone he cared about. He goes on to tell me he wants to be with me. (Keep in mind, I’m not a Bieber Fever fan whatsoever or even find 10 year olds attractive.) I told him he would have to tell the entire world I was his boyfriend if he wanted to go that route. He drove me to this old house where we were visiting a family member of mine. I walked into the bedroom only to discover different ghosts hovering over the bed. They were all the color of green and had large mouths. I remember having discussions with them and informed them I was terrified of their appearance and demeanor. As I walked out of the house the surroundings changed to an old hotel; it was like a ghost town and it seemed like a storm was approaching. I remember a few small children were without parents – they seemed possessed or zombie-like and kept warning me about something. Then my alarm went off.

02.28.11
The dream started with the frame of a house on top of a hill. My mom was building it by herself. I asked what she was building it for and she told me there was something big coming and she needed to be prepared. I told her I needed to do a few things before work and that I would be back to help her. Whatever it is that I was doing prior to work I have no clue, because I didn’t do anything except lounge around and gather books. (I’m not a very big reader, or a reader at all for that matter.) I found myself being driven around in a black Lincoln which was a company car, at this time I was a few hours late to work. I went back to see my mom’s progress on the house – the hill the house stood on seemed to be getting taller. The house was almost complete – she now had the help from the hosts of the Biggest Loser. There were lots of kids running around the house and carrying things. My mom told me the thing that was coming was almost here and I should maybe get to work if I needed to. I looked at my watch and it was now 2 pm and I was very late to work. I had the driver of the Lincoln take me to work -instantly streets started to fill with water. I was confused because there was no rain in our area – but it surrounded us like a square. The clouds dark and water poured from the sky. We picked up several people along the way – and they were all at fast food restaurants. I made it to work right as my shift ended and was stressed out that I would be in trouble. But all I was worried about was where the driver should drop me off at. Then my alarm went off.

03.01.11
I should’ve written this dream down first as the main points escaped my brain already. This dream involved lots of music and more water. I remember there were mermaids there, but some had legs because they wanted to dance.

a thought

look what I found
under a rock, around the bend, in the backseat
it’s been missing for some time
but it’s been found
now let’s find that thought
floating on a breeze
a thought
to find its way to me
to breeze through my fingers
pen to paper
stroke to pixels
thought to words
a thought needing to be found

sotd - Mariel's Brazen Overture

but the sun
went down
and you
fell out of love

qotd

"It's when they stop trying to destroy you...that you should really start to worry."

- Sam Lipsyte

dreams

you found me
in my head
with my eyes closed
you were running around
in my dreams

burned

boy you've burned my coal to ash
with all your tones and reds
and selfish acts
i was the foolish one
with the idea of ever after
the fact you wanted to dash
definitely eliminated any of that
goodbye white fence
you would've rot anyways
goodbye framed happiness
it would have eventually cracked
goodbye catchy soundtrack music
our record would have jumped off track
and all that's left is ash

butterflies

I have them and I'm feeling inspired. The hippo is one lucky lady. Just maybe someday i can lasso you in.

i bless the rains down in africa

Mark, this is amazing...

liquid

DPM has finally put his talent on video. It seems like yesterday when I can hear him playing these pieces in his spare time. This is one thing I am green of, his hands.

Water Pieces.

My favorite...Debussy - Images - Reflets Dans L'eau

hello 2010

Time away - but now I'm back. No Nancy, I did not quit - I was just on hiatus.

A brief recap of events since the last post...

Oct - Visited Atlanta with Molly during Halloween and gay pride. So many wonderful people there we need to go back soon.

Nov-Dec - Much different from last year. Surprisingly I only celebrated my birthday on a couple nights and nTime away - but now I'm back. No Nancy, I did not quit - I was just on hiatus.

A brief recap of events since the last post...

Oct - Visited Atlanta with Molly during Halloween and gay pride. So many wonderful people there we need to go back soon.

Nov-Dec - Much different from last year. Surprisingly I only celebrated my birthday on a couple nights and not a month-long extravaganza! 2010 shall be another month-long celebration.

On Dec. 26 we had my mom's side Christmas party. I ended up drinking an entire bottle on Glenlivet, blacked out, but remained hysterically funny by stories from my cousins. Let's just say, I've held back on the Scotch since then.

NYE - This was actually one of the best New Years I've had. It was spent with Amy and Laura. We did power hour to kettle & 180s - this was the first mistake. I'm not sure if we even finished. We headed down to Marley Bone where I don't recall the rest of the evening. It involved Amy making passes on boys in front of their girlfriends, Laura getting stuck in a snow drift, me slipping on ice (with possible brain swelling), and Amy yelling obscenities at neighbors.

Jan 1-3 - My mom rented a cabin at Mahoney State Park for us - we celebrated Christmas there. It was very cool, despite the -30 temps.

No resolutions this year - just time to focus on me. There was a big ol' rut, but we are emerging a beautiful butterfly - and by butterfly, I mean a hairy, pizza eating, dancing fool.ot a month-long extravaganza! 2010 shall be another month-long celebration.

On Dec. 26 we had my mom's side Christmas party. I ended up drinking an entire bottle on Glenlivet, blacked out, but remained hysterically funny by stories from my cousins. Let's just say, I've held back on the Scotch since then.

NYE - This was actually one of the best New Years I've had. It was spent with Amy and Laura. We did power hour to kettle & 180s - this was the first mistake. I'm not sure if we even finished. We headed down to Marley Bone where I don't recall the rest of the evening. It involved Amy making passes on boys in front of their girlfriends, Laura getting stuck in a snow drift, me slipping on ice (with possible brain swelling), and Amy yelling obscenities at neighbors.

Jan 1-3 - My mom rented a cabin at Mahoney State Park for us - we celebrated Christmas there. It was very cool, despite the -30 temps.

No resolutions this year - just time to focus on me. There was a big ol' rut, but we are emerging a beautiful butterfly - and by butterfly, I mean a hairy, pizza eating, dancing fool.

southern breathes

she said, 'my soul needs this.'
this is true. i need to remove myself from this land, this location.
in one day i'll be in atlanta - sweet tea and southern hospitality.

it's all about speed. everything moves so fast.
this moment, i need it to slow down.
to enjoy. to relax. to heal.
to breathe.